I have requested that the administrators of the Oral Cancer Foundation Forum remove subject topic that I initiated. It is non-oral cancer related. I persuaded Brian Hill to remove it. He is kind to honor my request. Thank you!

I wish the best to you both. This is an opportunity to heal--both physically and emotionally.

Wishing the very best for you and your family in all areas of your life. Please stay in touch and let us know how you are doing.

Thank you!

I didn't get to read it but am glad I didn't. I went thru some strange stuff after my surgery and loss of teeth with what I thought was going to be my wife. poof and she was gone. Good luck to you both. You both need another chance at a good life.

Right on, Jim, there must be a lot of "pouf-ing" going on because right after my son was diagnosed with his cancer, his current girlfriend also went "pouf"! However, he now has a girlfriend who is one in a million and his new normal is better than ever! So, there is life after "pouf".

The pouf factor. That is so sad. I guess after 27 years of marriage, I couldn't imagine pulling a pouf, divorce or no divorce. I'm sad that anyone would be made to suffer in such a way when they are seriously ill.

Anne-Marie, I am so happy for Paul! And Jim, please take heart that there are wonderful women out there with more character than the woman who went pouf.

Love,
Sandy

Poufing is not nice. Sorry EzJim and Anne-Marie. Jim, Sandy is right. There are some real women out there with integrity and character. BTW, you did miss some entertaining stuff.

Well, Joel - in my son's case, I think he had to experience a few "poufs" before he could appreciate and be ready for the real woman he has now and has been with for over a year. She is so sweet and caring and loving to my son, I feel I have gained another beautiful daughter. And Jim - Joel is right, you missed some entertaining stuff, but with genuine caring and compassion evident. Joel - We will be thinking of you and sending positive vibes on the 22nd. Hope all goes well.

What is poufing??!!!

You put a rabbit in a hat, cover it with a handkerchief, and wave your hands over it saying some magical words..... you the remove the handkerchief, and pouf! The rabbit has disappeared!!

oh dear...not nice...I wouldn't have dreamt of considering myself a rabbit!!

@ Jeanna: Poufing is disappearing on a significant other who is stricken with a serious illness. It comes from the sound "Pouf" as in what happens when a magician makes something disappear. It happens when a spouse, fiance or girlfriend/boyfriend can't handle sticking around to see someone through their treatment or isn't able to handle the "new normal" that is their loved one's new existence. These people might go "pouf"... never to be seen again. Very sad. You are the polar opposite of a poufer.

I like Brian's rabbit analogy. I have bunnies as pets. I love my little furbabies! Uh oh...I hope there aren't any bunny boilers lurking in the shadows! hee hee

Sandy, I love animals too - they are just so delicious!! JUST KIDDING. When Barkley died last month after being my 24/7 companion and best friend for 12 years, I was crushed. The deal that non dog people don't get, is that dogs give you completely unconditional love. You can't get that from most human beings. I don't trust people that don't have a thing for animals.

I have a friend who taught me to fly small planes in the mountains and Idaho backcountry. He takes people out fly fishing in his plane and lands right on the river sand bars (see my blog if you don't get what a deal this is). He has a flea bitten, Heinz 57 varieties, best friend that rides in the tail cone of the plane when he's out in the backcountry, and that dog has been around since I can remember. One day I asked him if he'd ever been married, and he answered through about a weeks worth of stubble on his face, that he had indeed tried it a couple of times, but he much preferred the company of his dog. He said there is a simple test to determine if you want to spend your life with a woman or a dog, and it goes like this.

You take your wife and your dog, and you lock them both in the trunk of your car for about an hour. Then when you come back and open up the trunk see which one is glad to see you.....

Sorry ladies.... it doesn't' of course reflect my opinions, since I've made a marriage stick now for 25 years. Of course it took some practice... there was number 1, and number two and......

That wife and dog test is so-o-o-o funny! it's true, though, about the unconditional love - and dogs have done some wonderful and heroic things for people. I have noticed that anyone who has pets is usually a very nice, caring person. I had a very nice, very caring male friend when I lived in Canada who had a goat. My two boys would go visit that goat and pet him almost every day. One day, when I went to visit my friend, the goat was nowhere in sight and as I walked in the front door, I asked where the goat was whereupon he led me to his refrigerator, opened the freezer door and pointed to the neatly stacked packages of frozen meat. I guess it depends on your perspective how you feel about certain animals, but I had a tough time that day explaining the goat's disappearance to my boys.

Brian...I liked your advice and tried to put Aly in the trunk of my Buick. I am now recovering from the severe beating I recieved. I think it may have been different if I actually got her into the trunk though and when I'm out of this body cast I'll give it another shot.

I love how this topic has taken on a life of it's own! @ Brian: Hilarious story! @ Anne-Marie: awwww.....and then....eeeewwww!

I completely understand about losing Barkley. It's something you never completely get over. It took me 4 years before I would have another dog after our dog, Hannah, died. She was my first baby and was with us through all those family-growing years. When we brought our dog, Wyatt, home as a puppy, I started crying when we pulled into the driveway. He was sitting on my lap and was just such a sweet little guy. It made me remember the last time we had our Hannah at home. You are right, it's that unconditional love that you don't get from anyone else but a dog. Wyatt made me realize how much I missed it. I'm sorry for your loss.

Now, as for goats...yikes! I hope Paul knows the real story about the goat. If not, I hope he doesn't read Anne-Marie's post!

@Brian: Loved the pictures on FB! Barkley--Apricot Standard Poodle, right? What a sweet face!

You are still green! Are you still nauseated from last week's forum escapades? haha...:)

Brian, I am so sorry to hear about Barkley!

I would have never made it through Tx without Edwin and Max Jr., my 2 Bichons Frises (well I guess my wife helped a little too). Max Jr. died last year, of OC, of all things. I got a Maltese (Chase) last year before Max died and that helped the transistion a lot but I still miss Max very much.

I love my dogs - they're better than children. I have pictures of them on my Facebook page.

And they are so cute Gary

On the one hand I pray that my dogs, both around 4, out live me so I won't have to deal with their passing but on the other hand I would hate for them to have to deal with me passing as they are literally with me 24/7. Me leaving them for 30 minutes is bad enough as the looks of dispare fill they face when I leave.

@Brian: I watched the videos! Wow! Takes guts and skill...and nerves of steel!
I enjoyed reading your blog. It is beautifully written.