CT, PET and biopsy results received. The cancer has returned, biopsy from soft pallet was positive and PET showed swelling on right side of jaw/neck is being caused by cancerous mass that is impeding blood flow. Jim's MO gave three options...surgery with just 15% chance of success, Best Supportive Care with 6 to 12 months expected, or Chemo to try and shrink. I can't make the decision for him and Jim doesn't even want to discuss yet. I've been searching this board for the many survivor stories to share with him to try and help restore hope and belief. If anyone has gone ahead with a surgery given these odds could you please share?

Im sorry that your husband has had a recurrance. Ive gone thru it twice and know exactly what you are facing. Get him to a cancer center for a second opinion right away. If I were in your shoes, I would never give up. I do not pay attention to the odds. You either make it or you dont. Chemo alone will not cure this cancer, it is used for pallitive care. I will post a list of cancer centers, dont let location choose his fate.

http://oralcancerfoundation.org/resources/index.htm#centers

Gerri,
The OCF link to NCI designated CCC's seems abbreviated, but does include some of our best.

Below is a links to ALL the NCI designated CC's & CCC's sorted by state:

http://cancercenters.cancer.gov/cancer_centers/cancer-centers-list.html

Here is a link to just the CCC's:
http://cancercenters.cancer.gov/documents/ccc_list.pdf

Not sure where Jim is being treated, but the University of Nebraska Medical Center in Omaha has a NCI
designated CC:
http://cancercenters.cancer.gov/cancer_centers/eppley.html

Nevertheless, consider second & third opinions.

Geri

While Christine is correct in discounting the odds (your husband either survives or he does not - it's always 100% result for individuals), even if you look at the odds of survival, IMO surgery & chemo are the ways to go. Surgery 15% , pallative care: Zero percent, chemo - ?%
I was just reading today the old adage: you can't win, if you don't play. Jim has to stay in the game if he wants to have a chance to live.
To be blunt, it's not like Jim's quality of life is going to be ruined by surgical complications, he won't have a life very long without the surgery. There are no good solutions here, no magic wands, no miracle cures. This is reality and realistically surgery is the only option of success. Plus until the pathology report comes back after surgery, the odds are just a guess. My odds dropped big time when no clear margins could be gotten, and perineural involvement showed up after the surgery. So I did over and above the maximum radiation and chemo. But I had obligations and vows to keep, so giving up was not an option for me no matter how slim the chance.
You are so right that you can not make this decision and honestly, despite all of the above, I could understand if Jim decided enough is enough. There is hope, just not certainty.
No one should have to go through what you and Jim are suffering.
charm

Jim has decided on the chemo. The future is frightening but I have to remain optimistic and support his decision. I wish he would consider a second opinion but he isn't interested. He's been through so much and the old spark just isn't there anymore. I am not giving up hope that it will return.

Gerri, have you researched clinical trials for Jim at www.nih.gov? I am a proponent and am in my third trial ~ my first in 2005 following my initial diagnosis. Each of my trials has combined chemo or chemo-type drugs. Jim's MO may already have discussed clinical trials with you and Jim, but if he or she has not you may want to research or request assistance to check out those that may be appropriate. My heart goes out to you and Jim.

Thank you for the suggestion, we found a clinical trial and are happy to be taking some action to resume the fight.