Well, Mike's surgery was on Tuesday. 12 hours long. Longest day of my life. He looks really good. Not at all like I expected. The doctor (ENT) came out when she was done her part and told me that she was cutting out the base of his tongue and just couldn't get anything good. She cut until she couldn't cut anymore. The cancer is deep in the tongue and very agressive. There isn't much she can do. He will get some Chemo to hopefully slow it down. He doesn't know this yet, he asked me of course (using his dry erase board) but I told him that she sent everything to the lab and we're waiting for the pathology report. I feel bad lying to him but the doctor and I think that he needs to heal some from the surgery before we hit him with the bad news. I am sooo sad for him!

Dorety,

I am so sorry that the news is not good. I know you must be devastated.

I remember how I felt standing in the hospital with the doctor telling me that my husband's throat was cancerous but to go thru all the that treatment entails and then be told what you were told...unbelievable.

Sending hugs your way,

Deb

Thanks Deb and yes, I was and am devastated but more than anything, my heart is broken for him. He's a good guy that's had a bit of a rough life but always found a way to make lemonade out of lemons. Not sure he'll be able to pull it off this time. I'm feeling pretty helpless and broken right now

Janice, Ive been watching for your update. Im so sorry that things were worse inside than previously thought. I know you had a bad feeling all along about this happening. Im so glad that your son is home with you.

Right now your husband is on alot of pain meds. He will not remember much of the hospital stay. When I had my big surgery last year, I didnt remember anything from morning to night or even what happened the previouos day. So dont worry about your husband being upset about what you told him. He wont remember any of it.

Wishing you both all the best. I will keep you in my prayers.

Thank you Christine! Mike walked in from work on Saturday and found me, Chris (my oldest), Emily and Anthony in the living room all together. He was so happy, I could see his heart smile. We had a Christmas for him that evening just in case he's not home on Christmas.

Wow, that was a wonderful idea!!!! Being together as a family is the best present for anyone. Do the doctors have any type of timeframe as to how long he will be in the hospital? Was any bone taken from his leg?

How long does Chris get leave for? In family emergencies, they can be very flexible with granting extra time off. All he has to do is ask, maybe send documentation. You need your son there with you right now.

Im sorry to be asking your questions. I cant imagine how hard this is on you. Im one who wouldnt make a good caregiver, I dont hide my feelings very well. Please know that you are among your new adopted family here. We all care for each other. Please lean on us if you feel the need to. Please remember to take care of yourself.

If your husband doesnt make sense right now its the meds talking. I would get mad at my son and tell him that he hasnt been to see me when the poor kid came every single day. I would sit there and think hard about trying to remember if he was there or not and finally give up. It was months later that I finally remembered that my son sat there with me for hours every single day. He would read me the get well cards and tell me all the latest news updates. Poor kid really was right by my side the whole time. So if your husband isnt quite right, its the meds talking not him.

((((HUGS))))) to you both!!!

He is actually really alert. He's already been out of bed and walked around a bit. He's doing GREAT!!! THey didn't take any bone from his leg, just muscle from one and skin from the other. He didn't have any part of his jaw removed, it was cut and then a metal bar put in.

My son has to go back on Sunday but he'll be back on or right after Christmas. He has already talked to his Commanding Officer about a hardship transfer so he can be closer to home. I told him not to do anything yet but just find out what he would have to do just in case. He really is a great kid. He's been watching the little ones for me, helping them with homework and cooked for them today. He's been an angel.

Janice,

I�ve been keeping Mike in my prayers and I�m so sorry the news was not good. I�ll continue to keep both of you in my prayers.

Thank you Susan. I believe that prayers work and there are miracles that happen. Maybe Mike will get one. My fingers are crossed!

Let's pray that the path results surprise everyone.