Billy: ...sending special prayers and positive thoughts your way....remember not to 'over-do' until you know you're ready....

I will do my best Lois but in this line of work its roll,roll, roll to make money. I understand what you are saying and I think you for being concerned.

Billy

BIlly

B is like Iron I think. And I know the feeling of not wanting or knowing if you are ready to go back to work ..but being so depresssed and misreable home and feeling like ou hae truley lost a part of yourself.

I was Lucky I went back Part-time to start ( financailly I could) As it is very physical I work with Autistic kids , very behavioral, Alot of time can be spent in restriant holds or being beat on ( me not them LOL ) . SO I only did a couple days a week. I didn't have rad tx or chemo , . I will tell you I was exhasuted after work and not being used to it..But mentally I think it was the BEST thing for me .

Everyone else is right though as well , try to pace yourself , dont miss appts and try to keep up your vitamins and with your feeding . Rest when you can and don' worry about the small things .... I hope all goes well and who knows Maybe you will be happy with the decison .. I know in an Ideal world we would all have enough money and never have to work or want ..but in an ideal world we would never have had this cancer either !

Shar

Hi Billy,
I was the owner and director of a huge cheerleading/gymnastics gym when I first was diagnosed in 2003. The surgery put me out for 6 weeks and I went to check on everything every day during radiation but didn't really take back a team to Head coach nor any gymnastics classes to teach. I was scared to. When I did, about two months after radiation ended, I was amazed at how good it made me feel!! When I spotted my first back handspring and felt STRONG about it, I knew I had control of my life back. Getting back in your truck might be a good thing for you, even though right now it's a scary thought. You will find at times thta you hate it and wish you could just go home.....but I think that most of the time it will make you feel "normal" and in control of our life. As far as the tube feeding goes, I used to go outside and sit in my car and do my feedings. No big deal at all. If anything, it was an incentive to get me to work harder on eating by mouth as I was a lazy peg person......I used the peg way to much and for to long I suspect.
Good luck to you Billy. I can't tell you how many times it has gone through my head that it's a blessing it was me and not my husband that was struck with cancer. He is our "money maker" for sure! You have a double load on your mind by being your families money maker, that has got to make it harder. My thoughts are with you.
Minnie

Thank you Minnie and, once again, I was estatic to read the good news about your surgery.

I also have some good news to report. I talked with a man that I used to work for and he has offered me a job driving with him. I used to work for him and he is a great guy and really was the one I was hoping to go back to work for. I am still scared but it is a fear that I am just going to have to confront and show myself that its just a smokescreen like fear always is.

Yall please continue to keep me and my family in your prayers.

Billy

MY thoughts will be with you Billy. Think of it as just work and not anymore illness. You can do anything if you can get over surgery and the like.You are stronger than you give yourself credit for.
Debbie

Thank you Debbie and I know you are right.

I have even more good news to report. My speech and swallow therapist was here today and released me telling me that I knew what to do and there was nothing else she could do for me. She said I was doing great. She also said she thinks its time for the feeding tube to come out. They want to do another swallow study before that happens though. She also says my trach is ready to come out so I called my nurse and she agrees and is going to talk to my doc and call me back with an appointment to come in and take it out.

Billy

Hi Billy,
Just a thought--you might find that going back to work is actually a good thing to take your mind off all these appointments and 'being discharged' from a lot of services, which as others have said, are a 'nuisance' but become, nonetheless, part of our 'new-normal'
JeffL and others have talked about the depression which comes with the 'gaping hole' which appears at the end of treatment.
Personally, I don't think I'm going back to work, regardless of the length of time I have left as I'd decided to take early retirement a year ago anyway, and only went back 2 days a week in September as a 'favour' and to make me a bit more comfortable financially.
It's only 2 days, but like Shar, it's with severely autistic children, and as I'm now 58, I feel that I'd rather be poor than beaten up at regular intervals!
Also, my co-workers have changed--not for the better---this could be one of the big factors for you if you and this guy you're going to work for have a mutual respect and understanding.
You don't seem the kind of guy to take time off unnecessarily, and I think he'll respect that and understand times when you DO have to!
I have you and your family in my thoughts and wish all the best for you over the coming weeks,

Brenda

Thank you so much Brenda. Im sure getting back in that truck will take my mind off of alot. I also think that working will help me with the depression. I know that there are going to be bad days but I asked the good Lord to please make the godd days start outweighing the bad ones. Today has been a very good day to say the least. And, I am eating popcorn for the first time in 6 months...LOL I love popcorn and that just makes the day that much better.

Billy

Hey, Billy- it's "GrandMa Amy" here [still with sand between my toes from playing on the beach last week].Anyone who can eat popcorn can get through this "going back to work stuff"-so dive in and get your recovery hat on You have fought a long hard and GOOD battle this far and I think you are gonna do O.K! You are a very strong person and have alot of living to do.It is still gonna be one day-one little problem to solve at a time- but you are used to that by now, so on with your life you go. Boy, I wish I could give you a big bear hug right now. Fondly, Amy in the Ozarks