My wife, the Lovely Linda, has breast cancer. We found out yesterday, the result from needle biopsys done on monday. There are 2 of "well differentiated, infiltrating , grade 1 of 3 ductal carcinomas." As I understand, "grade", as opposed to "stage", tells how likely it is to spresd. She goes for an MRI today and then her doctor is setting up an appointment with a surgeon. I feel sick just writing this, I feel sick thinking about it, I feel sick telling family about it, I'm sick of cancer.

Oh David,


I'm so sorry you have to go through it all again. I felt sick reading your post. I'm not very good with my words but just wanted you to know that my thoughts are with you and your family.

Minh

David I am so sorry to read about your wife. Cancer is so unfair. It sucks!!!!! I will keep both of you in my prayers.

Me too David. Just know that you have all the wonderful people on the forum pulling for your wife and praying you both have the strength to overcome this. You've done it once, David, so you can do it again with your wife. Be strong for her and we will all be thinking and praying for good results.
julieann

David, my good thoughts are with both of you. This is most definitely unfair. Shit. I wish your wife all the positive things I can think of.

David 2

Get her to the best breast cancer center available.

That sucks!! Cancer Sucks!! I am so sorry to hear that. I will be keeping your family in my prayers.

David- Hang tough. You guys can overcome this!

David,
Quite a few of us have also had BC. None of it is good but with the recent improvements made in treatment there is more hope for a successful recovery and long term survival. I have a sister who has had a very agressive form of BC for 6 years and has been responding well to chemo and meds which seem to be keeping it under control. I tease her because she is like the Cheshire cat in Alice in Wonderland. The spots grow and disappear and sometimes her scans come back clear for a while and she is off chemo for a few months. If she had this a few years earlier she would probably not be here today.
I would recommend that you discus Linda's case with your doctors. I was encouraged when I was told that the drs. I had were the best for what I had. It would be good to talk w the cancer support person(s) at your facility. There is so much info and support for BC that the info can be overwhelming.
Praying for you in your new role as caretaker.
Malka

David,

I, too, am so sorry that your wife has breast cancer. My Mom had BC back in 2003 and is a healthy 82 year old woman today. It is stressful and given what you have already been through, probably even more so. I wish your wife the best outcome. Being her caregiver will be a role reversal for you but so very worth it. All the best to you as you embrace this new challenge.

Anita

Oh David - I'm so sorry to hear of your wife's breast cancer. I'll be praying for the two of you to be surrounded by the very best doctors and support people around to help you through this latest challenge.

David, Sorry to hear that you have been striken by this disease again. I wish you the best outcome. My prayers are with you two for great Dr's and strength.

Oh no! I'm so sorry to hear this David. I will keep Linda in my prayers. We are here for you as you set out on the caretaker role.

Thank you all very much. I know that I have great support from my OCF friends. I've looked around at some BC forums and I haven't seen any that come close to matching the close "family" feel of OCF. As for taking on the caregiver role, I know I can't do anywhere near as great a job as as Linda did for me but I'll just have to give it my best, won't I. Chico has a lot of great doctor's as it's a popular retirement area and has a Cal State University campus. Enloe Regional Cancer Center is top notch as ias the Valley Breast Care Center. My mother and sister both have survived BC, Mom for 11 years and my sis for 6, after being treated at these facilities and we have faith in them. Meanwhile, I have to see about getting a refund for our air fare to Puerto Vallarta (I did buy insurance which covers medical situations) and see what I can work out with the resorts down there. The mundane concerns of life don't just go away at times like this. I'm just very happy to have you all to turn to to make me feel a bit less stressed and a bit more blessed.

David I am so very sorry to hear about your wife. I am so very sick of cancer. My mom died of bone cancer 1996, my dad died of lung cancer 1997,Bobs mom had breast cancer at 2 different times an beat them both,5 years later she died of lung cancer 1998.I my self had skin cancer on my nose they did a small skin graft and I got a new nose 2004, and now Bob I wish the word cancer had never been invented. It is the foulest word I know. Push forward and help her beat this,we will be here when you need us.

David

In a fair Universe, there would be a rule that cancer can't strike a household twice - sort of like the lightening axiom.
This Sunday's comics are mainly all in pink to highlight the scourge of breast cancer. With your special perspective as a cancer patient/survivor, you will be a wonderful caregiver to your wife in this terrible time. Keep the faith
Charm

David - Give Linda my best and let her know she will be in my thoughts and prayers. This cancer thing just sucks!!!! Still dealing with dh's radiation damage, my best friend from high school just finished with breast cancer treatments and now my sis in law was diagnosed last week with colon rectal cancer. You, my friend, will be an excellent caregiver because you know what it's like to go thru this stuff. Charm is right....there oughta be a universal law against this...or a universal law against cancer would suit me just fine Hang in there.

David she will be a lucky lady to have such a strong and supportive care giver as you.all the luck and love in the world to you both,xx

As Malka stated, they have come far in the treatment of breast Cancer and are having much success treating it. Lets all hope for the best and a cure for her. You have my prayers and best.

Appointment with surgeon who specializes in breast care on wed. Hopefully will get MRI results before then. I'm really thankful she is able to see the surgeon so soon. Let's move on and kick cancer's butt again.

I am sorry very sorry about your wife and will keep you both in my thoughts.

David,
Sorry to hear about your wife having breast cancer. Is it ductal in situ? Is it non-invasive? I had ductal in situ this summer and only needed a lumpectomy as they were able to get clear margins. I hope she has a similar diagnosis. I was stage 0.

Be forwarned that breast MRIs are extremely sensitive and throw a lot of false positives. I had one which led them to do a biopsy on other breast which turned out to be all clear.

Good luck to your wife and keep us posted on her treatment.

Take care,
Eileen

Gosh David, this just sucks....I am so sorry. As DavidCPA said, get her to the best breast cancer center! She can beat this just like you did. Please let her know we are all here to support the both of you.

Hugs,

Shelley

To say this sucks would be an understatement. Just wanted to add my voice to all the people wishing Linda well. And I think you'll be a great caregiver. Your concern and love is so apparent.

Eileen, there is 1 ductal and 1 lobular, both well differentiated and infiltrating. Thank you all for your concern and support.

We saw Linda's surgeon this morning and the news is about the best we could hope for. She will have a lumpectomy and 2 to 4 nodes removed for biopsy, followed by 6 weeks of radiation. Still, she does have cancer and is still upset about that but the surgeon definately lifted our spirits. Her surgery will be next wednsday afternoon.

That is wonderful news David! Give Linda a big hug....

Shelley

That is good news David. Best wishes for the surgery next week.
She has a no doubt got a great caregiver in you this time!!
Love to you both.
Gabriele

David, thanks for the update. I will keep both of you in my prayers.

Great news David!!

David,

In the past year plus I have been through 2 employee's "bout" with BC and both have finished Tx and both are doing great.

Hi David,

Someone on this forum sent me this link when I was diagnosed with BC this summer. You might want to check it out.

Have you checked out http://community.breastcancer.org/

Good luck with the surgery. Will be thinking of the two of you.

Take care,
Eileen

After her being your caregiver and you now being hers, I have an idea that she will be fine and that your toughness has given her more fight. Give her my best wishes and prayers.

And have them check her vitamin D level when they do the other blood work. We BC survivors are supposed to have above normal vitamin D levels. Normal is 30. I was at 45. My doc wants me at 60. It's a tiny pill you take once a day.

Take care,
Eileen

Linda's surgery went well today. Sentinal nodes were negative and surgeon says the margins looked good though we won't know for sure until the pathology report in 3-5 days. We are so relieved, but she still has a hard road to go. Radiation should start in about 4 weeks. I sincerely hope that we have seen the last of cancer 'cause, as we all know, "Cancer Sucks". Leave my house and never darken my doorway again.

So glad all went well for Linda today. Hopefully you can get that "c" monster out of your lives once and for all.

So glad surgery went well. Thanks for the update you have and will continue to be in my prayers.

Happy to hear that Linda's surgery went well David.
Hope the pathology also brings good news and the waiting is not too painful.
Gabriele

David,
Add my echo to all the above . I will pray for a good pathology report for Linda and an easy time with the radiation. Neg nodes and clean margins are a double blessing.

In preparation here is some advice I got from the oncology nurse before I started radiation for BC. I hope it helps make life easier for Linda:
1) go braless
2) wear all natural fabrics - I found that cotton JonesNY tshirts wash well with v little shrinkage and hold color well. With a loose shirt/blouse/jacket T shirts can be worn for everything from casual to v dressy and no one noticed - no need for those expensive "BC camofalge clothes." Buy a size larger than normal for comfort.
3) At least twice a day use Medline Remedy skin repair cream (no closer 4 hr b4 radiation) on whole chest area, throat and over sholders to back. If this is hard to find, try a local discount pharmacy or Walgreen's has on line. Even if you have to order more than one tube it is very good for allpurpose use.
4) Do not use regular deoderant, use a crystal type.
5) Wash gently, no very hot shower. I used baby washcloths.
Malka

David - I'm so glad for the good news and hope that it continues to progress so well for Linda and for you. Just seeing these wonderful posts, with such practical suggestions and heartfelt concern expressed, makes me realize more than ever, what a great "family" feel there is to this forum. Like no other for sure!

That is wonderful news David. Give Linda a big hug from all of us here OK!

Shelley

Thanks Malka, I'll pass ypir advice on to her. And I'll have to be careful but will be glad to give her a big hug. My mother and my youngest sister are both bc survivors (Mom had a mascectomy 22 years ago and Sheryl had a double mascectomy with chemo 15 years ago) and were at the hospital with us yesterday. Knowing how much good it does to have people to talk to who have been there and done that, I'm really glad they both live here in Chico. Sheryl brought us some wonderful home made chicken chimichangas and a salad for dinner yesterday eve. Yum.

Glad the surgery went well. Tell Linda we're all thinking about her. Let's hope for clean margins.

Take care,
Eileen

We saw Linda's surgeon this morning. Turns out that the margins weren't all that clear after all. There are what the surgeon called "speckles" of disease in the surrounding tissue. So now, it's a decision whether to try just removing more of the tissue and hope to get it all or to go ahead and do a masectomy and be sure. Not a great day. At least the nodes were confirmed to be clear. I'm leaning towards the "just get it all out" option but there are a few more tests before the final decision.

Linda's breast got infected and one incision won't heal. Going in on tues and if the infection has stopped draining then Dr. will stitch it up. Meanwhile, Linda is just totally depressed and I really don't know how to bring her out of it. I understand, of course, but wish I could get her spirits up. She's a strong person, has to be to be a RN (not to mention living with me) so I know she has it in her to fight this and have told her so but every time I try to say something comforting or ask if she feels any bettter or any such thing she just starts crying. She's also covinced herself that if she has a masectomy that I'll no longer love her. I knew that care givers have a hard job but didn't know how hard. Cancer just plain bloody out and out sucks!

I am so sorry to read the latest. I did not have a carer but I guess there are some days when you just can't get it right no matter what you do.
It does seem to me that Linda is going through normal female type emotions with her cancer.
Hope by Tuesday that things are a little better.
Love to you both
Gabriele

An "oncotype dx" test was run on the tissue that was removed during surgery. This test is supposed to tell how likely recurrence is and how well the cancer will respond to chemo. Linda's score was 13 on a 0-100 scale, meaning recurence is unlikely (about 8%) but also that chemo wouldn't have much success against her cancer. We'll see both the surgeon and the oncologist, who we have not yet seen, during the coming week and then they will put there heads together and figure out the tx plan. More waiting.

David

I'm so sorry to hear Linda is having to deal with so much. My thoughts are with you, Linda and your family.

Karen

This is just so unfair to you both. Sending out warm thoughts your way.

Thinking of you both and wishing you well.

David,

We all know waiting is hard. I'll keep Linda in my prayers.

David....my thoughts and prayers are with you and Linda and I hope they will come up with the right treatment. Sometimes caregivers just can't say anything right but sounds to me like she's just going thru the normal thought process most females would go through. She will work it all out and all you can do is be there and wait it out - harder said than done but do-able.

We are going to meet with Linda's oncologist on monday. Linda knows him from years ago when she worked in oncology at the hospital. He's generally considered number 1 in the region. Meanwhile, she still has a lot of pain and the wound where it got infected looks very nasty. She's trying to cut back her pain meds but I think we all know what happens when you wait to take them, the pain becomes that much more difficult to get under control. Anyway, I guess we won't know until after Thanksgiving what the dr's decide to do.

David, hope Mondays appointment is a good one. Now is not the time to be cutting back on the pain meds. Poor Linda, hope she feels better soon. Prayers to you both

David,

All my best to you and Linda with her appointment Monday and that they can resolve her infection. And I also hope that you both can have a restful Thanksgiving.

David, we hope the infection is showing signs of clearing up and that the next news you get will once again be uplifting to your spirits. Women are surviving BC so often now, including your Mom and Sister, plus Linda had clear nodes, so concentrate on those positive events. We are here for you and your wife all the way. And we join you on the DOWN WITH CANCER bandwagon.

Thursday was one of those rare occasions when both of my sisters, my brother, mother and myself were actually all together for Thanksgiving dinner, along with my brother's in-laws, a few neices and nephews and a brand new grand niece. It was a very good day but as we were leaving Linda said to me " I wish everyone would stop asking me 'How are you doing?'. Reminded me of the "Don't yo just hate it when..." thread on here.

David - How great that you and your family were all together for Thanksgiving! I do hope everything goes well tomorrow with Linda's appointment with the oncologist. I 'm sure she knows how well you understand when those "Don't you just hate it when. . ." comments come along. She has a wonderful support system with you by her side - and we are all here, too - hoping for more positives coming your way.

Linda is now scheduled for a masectomy on 12/16. Get rid of this cancer crap for good. Of course, she's feeling pretty down about it but who can blame her?

Sorry to hear about the upcoming major surgery Linda must go thru. She will get thru this and move on. Hopefully she will be open to seeing what a plastic surgeon can one day do for her. Im sure she would be amazed at the options available if she would want to take it one more step.

Linda is blessed to have such a wonderful and understanding husband by her side thru this ordeal. Happy Holidays to two very special people.

love and hugs to you both David x

Wishing Linda all the best with her upcoming surgery. We are all different, but my reaction to having cancer in my body was "GET IT OUT - AND NOT NOW....BUT RIGHT NOW!!" I hope Linda is feeling the same and in time will reconcile her losses with the "glad its out" feeling.

You have been an awesome caregiver. Wishing you both the best.

Donna

Had one last meeting with surgeon this morning. Thursday is the big day. We really like this surgeon. Pretty much all she does is breast surgery and she knows her stuff. Then went to the boutique that specializes in women who have had breast surgery and got Linda measured for a bra with a prosthesis. She's starting to be a little more upbeat about it but still cries when discussing it with any one. I just remind her that after thursday she will be cancer free and that's what really matters. That and "yes I will still love you without your breast". That one's a little tough for her to get past because as an RN she's seen too many men just get freaked out and refuse to even touch their wives after this surgery. I hope I'm stronger than that.

You sound like a great, caring and compassionate husband. We wish you both the best!

Sharon

Best wishes to Linda for a successful surgery. You are a great husband so dont worry you will get thru this together just like you did with your cancer.

Many prayers coming your way! I am going to send you the address of my friends blog for Linda Via facebook when I get to my computer. She is 31 diagnosed with breast cancer. Opted for a double mastectomy and chemo. She is truly inspiring.

Thinking of you and Linda!

Best wishes for Linda's surgery.
It is great that you have a surgeon that you like and have faith in.
Thinking of you both.

Spent the entire day at the hospital with Linda. My Mom and sister, both breast cancer survivors, came to lend support. I think we all know how much it helps to know others who have gone down that road ahead of you. The surgery went very well and the surgeon is optomistic about recovery. I don't know if I dare say that Linda is cancer free as this is a very devious, sneaky disease and I don't trust it one bit, but I am hopeful that it is so. Now the long process of recovery, physical and emotional.

Glad to hear surgery went well so just take it one day at a time. No declarations required! Hopefully recovery will go smoothly and uneventfully!

Donna

Let's pray for a total cancer free forever recovery.

Congrats on Lindas successful surgery. You are right that it is invaluable to have others like you close by. They are the ones who truely understand the best. A caregiver can understand but its on a different level. Hope Linda is comfortable and has a smooth recovery. Prayers to you both for very long, healthy, and cancer-free futures.

Great that the surgery is behind Linda and was successful.
May the physical and emotional healing go quickly.
Wishing you both a long cancer free life.
Gabriele

Got Linda home from the hospital about 3:00 this pm (it was supposed to be about noon but these things never seem to go on schedule). She's in good spirits, glad to finally have this behind her and the surgeon said that yes, cancer free is an accurate description. Now, if I can just get her to sit and rest abit..

Sounds like so far..so good David but she has to be tired after all she has been through.
Maybe it will kick in soon and she will want to sleep and rest.

So glad to hear that Linda is home. I always do the same thing when I get sprung. I buzz around straightening up and darn it if every single time dont I wear myself out. I hope she is feeling alright and doesnt overdo it. Im sure she will feel much better being home than in the hospital.

Linda's surgeon called last night to tell her that one of the "sentinal nodes" that had been removed during the surgery has tested positive. We meet with her tomorrow and then the tumor board will discuss this on Jan 4. Until then, I really don't know what to think of this.

David, Im sorry to hear this. Im not up on what that means. Best of luck with tomorrow's appointment. Prayers to you both. Please keep us posted.

Sending prayers of strength your way.

We saw the oncologist today and the plan is 4 chemo tx 3 weeks apart follwed by radiation. No node dissection, that's the good news. So as soon as she gets her drain tube removed, hopefully this week, we can schedule the 1st chemo session. I so hope that this will be the end of it.

My thoughts and prayers with both of you.

Sending lots of positive thoughts and prayers to you both!

Hugs,

Shelley

Be strong! Linda is on the right path to being well. Its a long road for anybody who gets cancer. Nobody gets off easily. Best wishes to you both.

Linda starts chemo tomorrow. 4 sessions 3 weeks apart. The beginning of the end for this cancer.

Praying that "eraser" treatment should be the end of this so that you can enjoy many healthy years together.

Praying for both of you, I am sorry to read this. You are both in my thoughts and prayers.

Wishing her cancer GONE real soon.
Love and thinking of both Linda and you.
Gabriele

What a wonderful attitude and statement, "the beginning of the end of this cancer." I am sure that is the way it will be, and pray for a complete recovery for Linda. She's lucky to have you to take care of her. God bless you both.
julieann

Linda's white cell count was down to 1.7 (very low) and she has to have 3 injections of neuprogen (sp?) to bring it back up. The road to victory is never easy.

David, thanks for posting an update. Ive been wondering how you and Linda were making out. Sorry to hear things arent the best. Ive had to get those shots already. They should help to make Linda feel better.

Linda's birthday today and no appointments for either of us. Yippee, a day off.

David:
Isn't it wonderful when you have a day off from the doctors? I think so. That can be one of Linda's Birthday presents
Happy Birthday to Linda.
julieann

So sad to hear,but hang in there they can do alot these days.

Met with Linda's Rad. Oncologist today. Talking about 5 days a week for 5 1/2 weeks, but won't start til chemo is finished. It's so wierd going back to these same places where I had my tx. Had hoped never to see them again. Linda has 2nd round of chemo tommorrow. After the last one her white cell count dropped to 1.7,000 so she had 3 days of nuprogen injections which brought it back up to 11,000. Hope that doesn't happen again.

David, sorry to hear that Linda is continuing on with chemo. Five weeks will go by quickly. Best wishes for easier days ahead!

David,

Sending lots of prayers your way. I'm sorry you are both having to go through this....

Shelley

Linda is going in monday for a scan for possible tumor on her parathyroid. If so then surgery would delay start of radiation. And on we go.

David I was hoping things were going better. Im sorry to hear this. I will continue to pray for Linda. Hoping this test shows nothing is wrong.

Linda's scan showed activity on her parathyroid. The doctors are pretty sure it's not cancer but now they have to decide if surgery is necessary. Meanwhile, today was chemo #3 of 4. 3 weeks from now she'll be finished with chemo, then, if no surgery is required, on with the radiation. If all goes well, we're looking at the middle of june b4 this is over. Hopefully.

1 more chemo to go. An ultra sound has been scheduled for the 21st for the parathyroid. Got everything that can ctross crossed.

Glad to read that there is only 1 Chemo to go for Linda.
I will also keep fingers etc crossed for a good result from the ultra sound David.
Love and best wishes
Gabriele