| | Joined: Jan 2011 Posts: 571 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) |  "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Jan 2011 Posts: 571 | Hi David,
That Linda has a husband who is yearning for his wife to put on a swimsuit so they can go swimming together should bolster her self-esteem considerably. It shows how much she is loved and valued. It shows how much her company means to you. She is a lucky woman.
It's hard to overlook physical scars when they are fresh and still red and visible. As the physical scars fade, the emotional and mental ones will, too. Just by being who you are, you are helping all her wounds heal. It isn't just the physical caregiving that gets someone through. It's also the love and the steadfastness, constancy, unwavering support for the person not just the patient. Linda was a patient, she is now a survivor. Throughout the whole thing, she is a woman. Keep treating her like a woman first and foremost, and she'll regain her self-esteem. You are doing a wonderful job. Keep at it.
I have heard there are wonderful things that are done with reconstruction. A friend of mine had a single radical mastectomy and said the side that was reconstructed using tissue from her abdomen (procedure like a tummy tuck) was better than the original. Those were her exact words. She was very happy about the results. Is that an option for Linda?
I hope Linda doesn't let her thoughts about her body take away things she enjoys doing. Life's too short to let any parts of it get stolen by our insecurities.
Sending a big hug to two of my favorite survivors!
Sandy
Ex-spouse MISDIAGNOSED with SCC-HN IVa 12/10. Tonsils out 1/11. 4 teeth out 2/11. TX Erbitux x2, IMRT x2 2/11. 2nd opinion-benign BCC-NOT CANCER 3/11. TX stopped 3/11. New doctors 4/11. ENT agrees with 2nd opinion 5/11. ENT scoped him-all clear 7/11. Ordered MRI anyway. MRI 8/22/11 Result-all clear.
| | | | | Joined: Sep 2008 Posts: 711 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | OP "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Sep 2008 Posts: 711 | It's the way I figure it. If she gets a swim suit with a prosthesis (she has a couple of bras) it's not likely that anyone will really notice and if they do, well it's just proof that she's willing to fight for her life. kind of a "Red Badge of Courage".
David R. 65 yr old male non-smoker, light drinker, stage 3 or 4, depending on which doc you ask, scc rt. tonsil, 2 nodes, 7 weeks radiation and chemo. No surgery. Teatment ended 3/20/08. PET scan 8/08 showed no cancer.
And now, as of oct, 2010, caregiver to wife, Linda, with breast cancer.
May, 2013, Linda diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer. Enuf already.
| | | | | Joined: Aug 2007 Posts: 1,301 "OCF Down Under" Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | "OCF Down Under" Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Aug 2007 Posts: 1,301 | You are absolutely on the right track with the way you are figuring it David. I have read this somewhere and liked it very much as is so true for many of us here; � My scars are my red badge of courage. I view my scars as a sign of survival and, frankly, I don't care if it isn't pretty. I am very proud of them.� For me the swimsuit issue is a little different�I only show my body in a women�s only Aqua Aerobics class. Have that normal �extra pounds� female thing going on  Hope you and Linda enjoy your first swim together before you run out of summer over there. Love to you both Gabriele
History Leukoplakia bx 8/2006 SCC floor mouth T3N0M0- Verrucous Carcinoma.
14 hour 0p SCC-Right ND/excision/marginal mandibulectomy 9/2006, 4 teeth removed, flap from wrist, trach-ng 6 days- no chemo/rad.
6 ops and debulking (flap/tongue join) + bx's 2006-2012.
bx Jan 2012 Hyperkeratosis-Epithelial Dysplasia
24cm GIST tumour removed 8/2013. Indefinite Oral Chemo.
1/31/16 passed away peacefully surrounded by family
| | | | | Joined: Dec 2010 Posts: 5,260 Likes: 3 "OCF Canuck" Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | "OCF Canuck" Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Dec 2010 Posts: 5,260 Likes: 3 | I totally agree... The scar on my arm is a battle scar! Its not a battle I've won yet - but I wear it with pride as it shows I not go down without a fight!  your wife needs to be reminded that anybody whose opinion would matter - already knows about her fight - and those that don't - their opinions are unimportant! She will eventually come to realize this - and yes as sandy said there s reconstruction as a possibility - hugs to you fr being a great hubby -- and her for being strong enough to fight!
Cheryl : Irritation - 2004 BX: 6/2008 : Inflam. BX: 12/10, DX: 12/10 : SCC - LS tongue well dif. T2N1M0. 2/11 hemigloss + recon. : PND - 40 nodes - 39 clear. 3/11 - 5/11 IMRT 33 + cis x2, PEG 3/28/11 - 5/19/11 3 head, 2 chest scans - clear(fingers crossed) HPV-, No smoke, drink, or drugs, Vegan
| | | | | Joined: Sep 2008 Posts: 711 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | OP "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Sep 2008 Posts: 711 | Linda got the all clear on her mammogram. Huzzah!
David R. 65 yr old male non-smoker, light drinker, stage 3 or 4, depending on which doc you ask, scc rt. tonsil, 2 nodes, 7 weeks radiation and chemo. No surgery. Teatment ended 3/20/08. PET scan 8/08 showed no cancer.
And now, as of oct, 2010, caregiver to wife, Linda, with breast cancer.
May, 2013, Linda diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer. Enuf already.
| | | | | Joined: Jul 2010 Posts: 531 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Jul 2010 Posts: 531 | YAAAAY!! Congrats to the both of you! How is she doing by the way?
CG to Ron
Out of Pain 4/3/13
4/12-lung and under chin growth no treatment
1/13/12 lung biopsy
6/11 recur 6/30 resection #2 Clear margins
Clear 12/10
Surg 5/13/10 neck dis/nodes part gloss/flap R thigh all teeth out
RAD 30 8/10
DX 4/2/10 "Oral Cavity" T3NOMO
12/28/07 Non Hodg Lymph remission 7/08
passed away 4.3.15, RIP Ron, you are greatly missed
| | | | | Joined: Dec 2010 Posts: 5,260 Likes: 3 "OCF Canuck" Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | "OCF Canuck" Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Dec 2010 Posts: 5,260 Likes: 3 | that is so awesome... so is mexico in your future... im jealous... love mexico... ;o)
Cheryl : Irritation - 2004 BX: 6/2008 : Inflam. BX: 12/10, DX: 12/10 : SCC - LS tongue well dif. T2N1M0. 2/11 hemigloss + recon. : PND - 40 nodes - 39 clear. 3/11 - 5/11 IMRT 33 + cis x2, PEG 3/28/11 - 5/19/11 3 head, 2 chest scans - clear(fingers crossed) HPV-, No smoke, drink, or drugs, Vegan
| | | | | Joined: Sep 2008 Posts: 711 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | OP "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Sep 2008 Posts: 711 | Linda is still pretty fatigued and I guess a little PTSD and I have a couple broken ribs but yes we are planning to go to Puerto Vallarta for 2 weeks rught after Thanksgiving. As long as I don't do anything stupid and break any more bones.
David R. 65 yr old male non-smoker, light drinker, stage 3 or 4, depending on which doc you ask, scc rt. tonsil, 2 nodes, 7 weeks radiation and chemo. No surgery. Teatment ended 3/20/08. PET scan 8/08 showed no cancer.
And now, as of oct, 2010, caregiver to wife, Linda, with breast cancer.
May, 2013, Linda diagnosed with stage 3 ovarian cancer. Enuf already.
| | | | | Joined: Dec 2010 Posts: 5,260 Likes: 3 "OCF Canuck" Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | "OCF Canuck" Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Dec 2010 Posts: 5,260 Likes: 3 | That's soooo great it will be just what the dr. ordered!!! She'll get to destress, and you can float in the ocean on an air mattress and heal! Have a great time!!!
Cheryl : Irritation - 2004 BX: 6/2008 : Inflam. BX: 12/10, DX: 12/10 : SCC - LS tongue well dif. T2N1M0. 2/11 hemigloss + recon. : PND - 40 nodes - 39 clear. 3/11 - 5/11 IMRT 33 + cis x2, PEG 3/28/11 - 5/19/11 3 head, 2 chest scans - clear(fingers crossed) HPV-, No smoke, drink, or drugs, Vegan
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