I hate to have to say this and I still cant believe this is happening but my mom passed away yesterday morning in her home.
She had only done 2 treatments of chemo. It was just too hard for her. She was too weak. She hadnt received much nutrition at all because it made her sick. They day prior to her passing, she had actually kept down two cans of food and told us she felt better, and she seemed to look better...monday and tuesday were her good days.
Tuesday morning she started hemorrhaging, a lot. My step dad was with her. She collapsed and didnt regain consciousness. I was notified at work while I was teaching.

Best of luck to you all and thank you for being there for me during this awful time in my life

What can one say..... that's just horrible. Anyone who has lost a parent knows how devastating that can be. I'm truly sorry.

Oh Emily! I feel so sad for you, I know you love your mom to pieces, it showed through your emails/posts, I know you will miss her dearly. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers as you go through this difficult time. Stay well my friend! Sending you cyber ((HUGS))!!!

Emily, I am so sorry for your lose. I find peace knowing that your Mom was able to come home and not pass in a hospital. I hope you find peace too. I can't imagine how it feels to lose your Mom. You are in my thoughts and prayers through this difficult time. Hugs!!!!

Emily, it is impossible to know your pain. I am so sorry that you lost your Mom. I had been following your posts and could see how dedicated you were to helping her.

Dear Emily,

I was so sad reading your post....I have no words....you and your family are in my prayers. I am so sorry.

Shelley

Emily-So very sorry for your loss.

Emily,

There are no words.

Keeping you and your mom in my prayers.

Emily, my thoughts are with you. Your mother was very brave, as are you.

David 2

Emily, I am very sorry for the loss of your mother. You gave her the best possible care she could have had. Let the good memories help ease your pain in the difficult time. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. ((((HUGS))))

Emily, I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom. She was very lucky to have you fighting so hard for her and being there for her. You are WAY TO YOUNG to have to be dealing with this and to be without your mom. I'm so glad that she was able to make it home and know that she has a grandbaby on the way. Please take care of yourself and someday soon the good memories will help ease your pain. Hugs, Wanda

Emily,
I am so very sorry for your loss. I will say prayers for your mother, for you and your family.

Peace to you all.

Donna

Emily - So very sorry to hear the sad news of your Mom's passing. I hope that you and our family will find comfort in each other and peace in the good memories of your Mom.

Please except my condolences and you and your family are in our prayers.. Semper-Fi Bob

Emily I am so sorry for the loss of your mom. You and your family are in my prayers.

Emily and family - we send along our sincere sympathy at the loss of your Mom - they are gifts to us but the good memories will live on until you meet again.

Emily:
I enjoyed knowing you for just a short while, and pray you and your family find peace in knowing your Mom isn't suffering any more and is smiling down on you. She will always be alive in your hearts and her memories will always be with you. God Bless.
julieann

I am truly sorry for your loss Emily. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Although they are now beyond the reach of your arms, they will always be within the embrace of your never ending love.

Sorry for your loss.

Emily! I am so sorry to hear of your mother's passing. You are a wonderfull daughter & caregiver to your mother. I have followed all of your post's & it truly show's the love & care you gave your mother. My thought's & prayer's are with you at this time.
Hugg's Roz

Emily, I am so sorry for your loss. It is so hard to try to find words to console you. Just know that your mom loved you very much and having my own daughter, I know how much your care and support meant to your mom. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.


Take Care
Wendy

Here is the obituary for Emily's mother Freida. She was a wonderful person and will be greatly missed especially by Emily.

http://obituaries.wilsontimes.com/freida-jane-baker

Emily,

Although I never meet either you or your mother in person, I feel I got to know both of you through your posts here on OCF. I am deeply saddened to hear of your loss. I know you loved your mother deeply and rest assured she knew it also. Please accept my sincere condolences for your terrible loss. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Hi everyone - thanks for sharing that link christine.
her facebook page is here, also.
freidas facebook

she was such a special person..i cant believe all of the people that were at her funeral. they all couldnt fit in the room..some had to sit in another room and watch the service on tv and others had to watch it on tv in the big atrium. it was so humbling. i cant believe she was my mom. she didnt meet a person that didnt fall in love with her. she was sincerely and genuinely nice to everyone she met..never met a stranger, as they say.
some of her former students sang a beautiful song titled "hallelujah" but rewrote the words to say
"Mrs. Baker, yes we knew your name
Some bad news came yet you smiled the same
you laughed and danced and joked. That's how we knew ya'!
Now on today you've gone away
left us with memories and great things to say with that we lift our voice and cry Hallelujah!"

i still cant wrap my head around all of this..here today, gone tomorrow. my sweet mama. i cant imagine living my life and not sharing all of the details with her. im worried how this will all affect me in the coming days, now that the funeral is over and the people are gone.

i thank you all again for always being there and knowing what to say! i know youve all been there and fought your own battles. this was a wonderful resource for me for many months..i wish i had found you guys sooner!

How terrible for that to happen. You have every sorrow I can muster as does your family.

Oh Emily I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. What a shock.
You are certainly in my thoughts and prayers. Let me know if you wanna talk.

Love ya

Dodie

Emily,

I am so sorry to hear of this news ... I am so terribly sorry. I know you and your Mom had a very special and unique relationship that is absolutely irreplacable. I would keep a journal and title each entry.. Dear Freida or Dear Mom, and just express your thoughts to her. It will help you get through this tough time... and maybe anytime you want to be in touch with her or feel close to her you could write her here.

I cannot imagine the pain you must be feelings. She was a very special person to you and to all of the students she taught. I wish that she hadn't gotten sick with this terrible disease.

Take good care of yourself because you have a precious baby with you and that is part of your Mom's legacy. In time you will be at peace with her passing - but it will take some time. Be good to yourself.

KATE

Hi all..thank u so much for thinking of me.

tomorrow will make a week since her death. last week was a whilrwind of just going through the motions, it felt like it was only a day.

these past 2 days have been the hardest for me, since all the activity with visitors has died down and i find myself alone. i talk to her all the time and ask for her to come to me..i just want to feel her presence but i have not. i pray every night i can at least dream about her but i havent. i keep telling her i dont even care if shes a scary looking ghost, i just want to see her.

my work has been so great, they have told me to take 2 weeks (last week and this week). ive been at home and just cant seem to do anything. i have lots i could be doing in the nursery but i cant stop crying - everything reminds me of her. i know if she could, she would tell me to stop being 'foolish'.I just cant stop crying..I keep thinking about how she died and how
scared she must have been. It was such a violent death. I keep
envisioning her lying the bathroom and jsut bleeding out and I can see the look in her eyes I know she was so scared. I wonder if she was able to say anything to my stepdad or if she thought of me. I think this is mostly why I am so sad, not entirely for my loss, but because of how she had to die. It was not peaceful at all..I cant think of a
worse thing to happen to her. I think passing slowly in hospice would
have been better than this, at least we could have all had some time
with her and we could have kissed her and held on to her.
I think sometimes Im just waiting for this to be over and Ill be able
to go see her at her house. I wish that I could feel her presence with me but I havent. Derek says its because Im looking for it. Every night
I pray that I will dream about her and she will talk to me and shell tell me that we'll be together again. That scares me a lot..that after death there is nothing and I wont see her again.


does anyone else ever feel the presence of a loved one that has died?

Hi Emily. This is all so soon and fresh. My mom will be gone 3 years next month and sometimes it feels like it was yesterday. She died from pancreatic cancer and unfortunately the last 2 weeks of her life were horrific. I would have nightmares daily of those last two weeks of her life dying at home. In time the good memories overtook those awful last two weeks. Her life was so much more than the way she died and I tried to remember that. Getting back to work helped to keep my mind occupied and that helped. Grief is something you have to go through and it is painful. I used to call my mom first thing in the morning when I got into work and found myself those first few weeks actually picking up the phone to call her and then catching myself. I used to call her house when I knew my dad was out of the house just to hear her voice on the answering machine. It is a very painful and tough thing to get through.

I do believe that we will eventually see our loved ones again. I wish there was something I could say or do to make things a little easier for you. Be thankful that you had such a close bond with your mom. You will eventually feel her presence with you and you will dream about her. Like I said, it's all so fresh. You are carrying a part of your mom with you always. I feel so honored that I am my mom's daughter and I know you feel the same way about your mom. Be patient and take care of yourself and your baby-to-be. Your mom will be with you always. Sending you a HUGE hug, Wanda

Oh, Emily, I am sorry. I am about your mom's age, and I have a daughter about your age -- and if I ever find myself in a situation like your mom's, I hope that my daughter will offer as much comfort and support to me as I know you did to your mom. My condolences to you and your family.

Emily,

I sat here and read you every day with tears streaming down my cheeks. You're a wonderful daughter you did everything in your power to help your Mom. She appreciated everything you did for her. Take care of yourself and your baby your Mom will be with you in spirit.

My husband passed away 11 years ago he had throat cancer. Ironic this has happened to me too, but tongue cancer. Your Mom will make her presence in a strange way. The first year I felt him many times and had one dream about him. The last few days of his life he was at Hospice House they had a butterfly garden outside his window. After everything was said and done I was driving down a major highway a butterfly was trying to get into my driver side window, I freaked out and pulled over the side of the road hysterical. I thought of the butterflies outside of his window I would comment to him about them. Every once in a while a butterfly flies around my living room window and I think of my Bob.

Your husband might be right your thinking too much about receiving a message from her. You will give it time. I truly believe they are with us in spirit.

Take care of yourself and your family. God Bless

Connie

Hi Emily- For some reason my message didn't post.

I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom. She sounded like a wonderful woman. You had a special bond that will never be broken.
Keep a "Dear Frieda" Journal to work through this difficult time. It will help you feel close to her and also sort through your emotions.

She will be with you always. Stay strong and healthy for the new life you have forming. Her spirit will live on through this new child. You will see. My sister just had a baby a few months ago and I see my mom in her smile and her eyes. Its amazing! Be excited for that.
I know its a very sad time but one day soon you won't feel so sad.

Lots of Love to you. KATE

Hi Emily,

I'm so sorry to hear about your Mom. I had the same very close relationship with my Mom so I can really feel your pain. For me the first year was the hardest. The first Thanksgiving, Christmas, Mother's Day, etc. without Mom. But it does get easier, it just takes time. That's part of the grieving process.

I believe your Mom will always watch over you. She is your guardian Angel now. A love that strong will never die. There are times when I can feel my Mom, I know she's with me. I bet that will happen in time with you too. I also got some grief counseling which helped me cope with her death. You might want to consider that option down the road.

Love and Hugs,

Shelley

Hi everyone..cant believe its already been over a week. Feels like it still just happened. The hole in my heart is still just as big, I guess that will never heal. Im going to try to go back to work tomorrow. I know mom is pushing me along telling me to get back. She would never miss a day of work, even on her bad days. She loved to be at work..I remember during my teenage 'hellraising' years, she would tell me she couldnt wait to get back to work with her work family cause I was just driving her nuts.
So many things have been published since shes passed. so many people have shared poems theyve written about her. There was an article in the newspaper today about how our school is mourning our loss (We worked at the same school).

I think Ive gotten better each day, I didnt think Id be this strong. I thought I would completely die when she did. I love her so much..she must be pushing me along. I still feel very isolated and alone without her. Im left in a family FULL of men, aside from my mother in law. I feel like Ive been passed on the torch but I have no idea what to do with it. Like everyone will look at me to do the things she did, which Ill never compare to.

Anyways Im not sure why I still come back here. I guess I feel a connection with you all as I know you truly know what Im going through. Id like to share something that was the closing at her funeral

Resolution of Respect

for

Freida Jane Baker



No matter what your trials are,or how big your mountain seems;

The Lord is there to see youthrough; He'll go to all extremes.

So if your cross seems hard tobear, and you know not what to do;

The One who loves you most of allwill be there to see you through.



We, the members of East Wake Academy,want the family to know that our hearts are with you as we gather to bid aheartfelt good-bye to a valiant woman, the wife of Leonard Baker, mother of Emily Eatmon and Sam Humphrey, mother-in-law of Derek Eatmon, and sister of Toni Boykin.

WHEREAS,Freida Baker was a dedicated wife, mother, teacher, mentor and friend of East Wake Academy .



WHEREAS,Freida Baker was a very independent person who would perform any task, whethermenial or mighty, and instilled in her family and friends to follow herexample. She inspired others with her selfless compassion and vibrant love forlife.



WHEREAS, not only is this a loss of a devotedmother, but also a confident counselor and genuine friend. Freida was a personwho was always available to share an encouraging word and demonstrate unwaveringsupport to students, friends and loved ones.



WHEREAS, the passing of our beloved Freida is thewill of God and there is a human tie that has been broken which bleeds theheart in agony and pain. We are encouraged and consoled in the words of Jesuswho said, "I will never leave thee nor forsake them".



WHEREAS, we will always take delight and comfort inthe millions of memories and the brilliant smiles she always flashed ~ eventhrough adversity. Truly Freida was thewoman that the bible describes in Proverbs:



She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her householdand does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed;her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."



THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED, that we embrace thefamily because all of us have a common bond that will connect us for the restof your lives. We can never replace Freida, but we will attempt to be aconduit of her amazing love and joyfulspirit.

To the family, we know your loss is deep and your sorrow is great,but we want you to know that we share in your sorrow, but more importantly, werecognize that this loss is truly Heaven's Gain.



When it is all over, we would like you to remember:

In case there's a time when you just need some cheer,

In case there's a problem you would like us to hear,

In case there's a favor you would like us to do-

We're here if you need us to help see you through.


This is how I will remember her, before she got sick
[img]http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos...975535046_333501052_703233_2134242_n.jpg[/img]

Here is the article I found in the paper today (I had no idea about it until today)
http://www.easternwakenews.com/2010/08/18/8088/ewa-mourns-teachers-passing.html?story_link=email_msg

What a beautiful tribute the school did for your mother. She was loved by so many. The picture is very nice, it shows a vibrant, happy woman, not a cancer patient. The little poem right before the picture is lovely. You are so lucky for this amazing person to have been your mother.

Emily,

First, you are always welcome here on this site. I hope you will continue to post. There are many of us who are looking forward to hearing about your baby. Next, I love the tribute and photo of your Mom. Third, I also checked out the FB page and enjoyed the photos there as well. Your Mom is beautiful! Thanks for sharing her with us.

Anita

I am sorry for your lost. May you find the strength, during this time....

God Bless,

Emily,
Believe me when I say that she is with you and watching over you. Yes, you do feel their presence. It's been three years for me, since Daddy died. I have talked to Daddy in too many places to name. One day, recently, I was having a horrible day and needed to talk to Daddy....and in my mind, heart and belief, he was right outside, sitting next to me, as I poured my heart out about the events in my life.

I notice a light in the sky from an star this night. It was as bright as ever and seem to be shining right on me, as I cried and cried. Then, I felt a small wind and what seemed like a arm, reach around my shoulder. I KNOW, it was Daddy, tell me "It is going to be OK".

So, yes..to answer your question, I believe they always watch out for you and are your guardian angel, for the remainder of your life on Earth.

I hope this helps! Take care and God Bless,

Hello Emily:

I strongly agree with the others that your Mom was a beautiful woman and I'm sure she's now a beautiful Guardian Angel for you. Her memories will always be with you, and at times, you will "feel" her presence. I lost my son, and there have been times when I actually "smelled" how he smelled when he had just taken a shower, and I don't even use the same kind of soap he did. Just wait, you'll know what I'm talking about, I promise.

Julieann