| | Joined: Feb 2009 Posts: 88 Supporting Member (50+ posts) |  Supporting Member (50+ posts)
Joined: Feb 2009 Posts: 88 | You're right David this type of care-giving, signing DNR's, and letting them go is not fun. I have been caregiver to my husband's grandmother and what you are experiencing is exactly what I went through. I was also close to my father-in-law when he went from Alzheimers. It really SUCKS all the way. So sorry you have to go through it but I'm so glad you as the someone stepped in to do it. All these individuals without someone need help like you. Some of what she could be experiencing and we went through this is her body actually may be shutting down little by little, but in real life it happens quickly within a few days. They become disoriented do to the body not eliminating the waste and such. True to what the doctors are saying there isn't much you can do except wait for them. I hated this end of things and could handle all the rest. God bless you for who and what you are and do for everyone.
Bonnie
CG to daughter Brandy age 31 initial dx 10/06
SCC T4N0M0 with bone invasion upper maxillary
Surgery 10/06
CT's clear for 2 years
2nd recurrence - Laser surgery 1/09 dx
Tumor board - No surgery to invasive for QOL
35 IMRT 3/30/09 Completed 5/15/09
8 tx Erbitux 3/24/09 Completed 5/6/09
| | | | | Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 8,311 Senior Patient Advocate Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | OP Senior Patient Advocate Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Sep 2006 Posts: 8,311 | Margaret J White, 95 and 11 months, passed peacefully this am at 5:45.
David
Age 58 at Dx, HPV16+ SCC, Stage IV BOT+2 nodes, non smoker, casual drinker, exercise nut, Cisplatin x 3 & concurrent IMRT x 35,(70 Gy), no surgery, no Peg, Tx at Moffitt over Aug 06. Jun 07, back to riding my bike 100 miles a wk. Now doing 12 Spin classes and 60 outdoor miles per wk. Nov 13 completed Hilly Century ride for Cancer, 104 miles, 1st Place in my age group. Apr 2014 & 15, Spun for 9 straight hrs to raise $$ for YMCA's Livestrong Program. Certified Spin Instructor Jun 2014.
| | | | | Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 10,507 Likes: 7 Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Administrator, Director of Patient Support Services Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Jun 2007 Posts: 10,507 Likes: 7 | David, Im sorry for your loss. You are a very good hearted person to have helped Margaret in her final days. May she now rest in peace.
ChristineSCC 6/15/07 L chk & by L molar both Stag I, age44 2x cispltn-35 IMRT end 9/27/07 -65 lbs in 2 mo, no caregvr Clear PET 1/08 4/4/08 recur L chk Stag I surg 4/16/08 clr marg 215 HBO dives 3/09 teeth out, trismus 7/2/09 recur, Stg IV 8/24/09 trach, ND, mandiblctmy 3wks medicly inducd coma 2 mo xtended hospital stay, ICU & burn unit PICC line IV antibx 8 mo 10/4/10, 2/14/11 reconst surg OC 3x in 3 years very happy to be alive  | | | | | Joined: Aug 2005 Posts: 307 Platinum Member (300+ posts) | | Platinum Member (300+ posts)
Joined: Aug 2005 Posts: 307 | David,
What a wonderful and caring man you are. Margaret was fortunate to have you as her friend. She is another Guardian Angel watching over you now.
Hugs,
Shelley
Caregiver to husband Ron. Throat Cancer. Finished 35 radiation treatments on 11/21/04. 8/2/11 small lesion on lower gum, laser Procedure to remove. 3/6/12 Doc. removed another lesion on outside of his neck. Did a skin graft from his chest to replace the skin on his neck. Went to Heaven on 6/24/12.
| | | | | Joined: Jun 2009 Posts: 875 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Jun 2009 Posts: 875 | What a kind person you are David. People like you are hard to find. Like Shelley said, Margaret is your Guardian Angel, now and that should make you smile.
julieann
Julieann Nov 2007 SCC on right tonsil following tonsillectomy. Was smoker, QUIT. (Stage IV T2 N2b) 7 weeks radiation one day/wk chemo (carboplatin and 5-FU). Allergic to Taxol; PEG in, lost 30 lbs. TX completed January 2008. PEG out mid- 2008. PET/CT 1/17/2011;2/3/12 NEGATIVE for cancer | | | | | Joined: Feb 2009 Posts: 88 Supporting Member (50+ posts) | | Supporting Member (50+ posts)
Joined: Feb 2009 Posts: 88 | May God bless both Margaret and you also David for your kindness and help in Margaret's last days. May she rest in peace in Jesus loving arms.
Bonnie
CG to daughter Brandy age 31 initial dx 10/06
SCC T4N0M0 with bone invasion upper maxillary
Surgery 10/06
CT's clear for 2 years
2nd recurrence - Laser surgery 1/09 dx
Tumor board - No surgery to invasive for QOL
35 IMRT 3/30/09 Completed 5/15/09
8 tx Erbitux 3/24/09 Completed 5/6/09
| | | | | Joined: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,671 Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts) | | Patient Advocate (old timer, 2000 posts)
Joined: Nov 2006 Posts: 2,671 | David - You are an Angel here on earth for all the care and compassion you've always given to others. I'm sure Margaret is at peace and lovingly watching over you now. God bless you.
Anne-Marie
CG to son, Paul (age 33, non-smoker) SCC Stage 2, Surgery 9/21/06, 1/6 tongue Rt.side removed, +48 lymph nodes neck. IMRTx28 completed 12/19/06. CT scan 7/8/10 Cancer-free! ("spot" on lung from scar tissue related to Pneumonia.)
| | | | | Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 238 Gold Member (200+ posts) | | Gold Member (200+ posts)
Joined: Aug 2008 Posts: 238 | David,
I'm very sorry that your client...friend has passed away. She was an exceptionally lucky lady to have you there to watch over her and make the hard decisions that you made. I'm sure she so enjoyed going through her yearbook and telling you those stories. Funny how the memory works, isn't it! You, thankfully, did what we would all want someone to do for us - you treated her like you would want to be treated. Wouldn't the world be a wonderful place if we all did that. Sorry for your loss but I'm sure she is peacefully watching over you now. Take care.
Nancy T
CG/Mom: 5 1/2 years SCC upper palate,4 recurrences, surgeries, chemo & radiation. Mom went to Heaven 1/21/11.
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