Hello members. I wanted to write back to tell everyone that on Wednesday, August 15, 2007, I lost my Daddy to this disease. He gained a infection and due to lack to white blood cell count (thanks) to Chemo and he could not beat the infection.

It literally went from Monday, I took him to Chemo and to have Rad later than day. He was in wek 5 of a 7 week course of treatment. In fact, on the Sunday before, I just told Daddy that he only had two more weeks of treatment to go. Little did I know that after I left, he told my Stepmom the Dr. recommended another 3 to 4 weeks of treatment.

Regardless, Monday...he looked sick..actually very sick but I thought he was just dyherarted (excuse spelling). Something in my Daddy's eyes said more but I did not want to believe that. After dropping him off, I told my Stepmom to call me if they needed a ride home.

Dad drove to Chemo almost everyday of that five weeks. I believe he wanted to drive himself....but that could have lead to the infection. Along with the Peg Tube, which I believe became infected also.

Around 1:00 PM Monday afternoon, my Stepmom called me and stated that Daddy was being kept in the hospital. Little did I know that he would never come home. Things when down hill FAST from there.

Daddy had four crashes, a heart attack, loss organ functions by Wednesday at 1:30 AM...I told Daddy after initially begging him to kept fighting on Tuesday (which worked)....his heart rate upon arrival into ICU was 217 BPM, to go ahead and pass to the other side. In 2 hours, it had decreased to 156 and his BP when from 96/37 to 104/70.

When talking to my Daddy (he was under the drug induced coma then and on a ventation) begging him to fight, live and beat this for 45 minutes, I saw a tear come from his eye. Then, when five Dr's told me he was "very, very, sick"...I finally listened to Dr. five.

I stated to the Dr. that if my Daddy heart stop beating on his own, do not began to bring him back. He would have been on full life support then anyway (if they got him back) and probably would have been brain dead.

Personally, I do not know how to cope....what do I do without my life. I need ALL of the support and help I can get to get pass this. Now, I have loss both my Daddy and Mommy to cancer. What do I do now?

Dear Monica,
I am sorry to hear about your father. I recall reading one of your posts that said you have two children, I hope that they can help you through this very difficult time.
I'll pray for you and your family, I hope that you find peace through your memories and love.
Donna

Dear Monica, What a sad time you are going through! And your head must be spinning from how fast this happened. It may take quite a while for you to be able to figure out how to deal with it, but thats what you are going to do. You have a life to live. It will have good parts and, sometimes, bad parts and very sad parts. I am so sorry for the pain you are dealing with. Amy in the Ozarks

Dear Monica

I ma sorry for what you are going through ..I am here to listen and if you need to talk to you can give me you r number and I can call you.. I may not have all the rigth words but I can listen really well !


Shar

Dear Monica,
Read your posting through tears and do not even know how to reply except to say I am sorry that your Dad lost his battle with cancer. I am not particularly religious but now perhaps he is together again with your Mum.
I am lucky enough to have both my nearly 80 year old parents and will always remember their look of shock when they first saw me after my oral cancer operation last September. Did not see myself for a week but I know it must have been awful for them.
The old lady in the apartment below me lost 1 of her daughers to cancer and now the other one also has it. I will always remember her comment that your child should not got before the parent.
The only thing I know is that I will also be devestated when it happens to my parents as I also love them dearly.
Everything I think of writing is not coming together so for the moment will just give you and your children a big hug over the internet and ocean from Oz.
Love
Gabriele

I'm so sorry to read your news.

My thoughts and Irish prayers will be for you to find strength within yourself to overcome your loss. You will grieve and rightly so but, there is strength within you that you have to find. Remember all the good times you had with your father and mother, focus on them they will help you and make you crack a little smile. It may only be for a moment now but the moments will become minutes before you know it.
Anytime you are really down you can e-mail me. I'm a dentist, son, father, brother, cancer survivor, cancer counsellor, patient advocate, friend and a very good listener. [email protected]

I always tell everybody in your situation it might not be a bad idea to talk to a professional ie. priest, psychologist, psychiatrist, counsellor etc. They are all trained to help you work through and understand your feelings. Your local Cancer Society may be able to offer some support as well.

"...shed your tears at sunset, remember, grieve well, for tomorrow a ray of sunshine will spark new life and a new beginning." Author Unknown

Praying for, and thinking about you,

Mike

Monica: I am so very sorry to hear of your loss, and know that no words are sufficient to heal your heart at this time. I pray that God will grant you the strength and faith to endure this ordeal.

Lois

Monica,

I'm so sorry for your sudden loss. My condolences to you and your family.

God Bless,

If there's one thing that cancer teaches us all is perseverance. Perseverance isn't something that we think our way through. It is something we just do. You are in my prayers and so is your dad. May his journey be peaceful. You having your own children is why you will make it and persevere.

So sorry for your loss. Giving you strength and courage to get through this time. LJ

Monica,
My deepest sympathy to you and your family in the loss of you Dad. My your fond memories of him help ease your grief.

Take care,
Eileen

Dear Monica,

I am so very sorry for your loss.

Just three and a half months ago, our Uncle lost our Aunt to this dreaded disease. She was his wife and best friend for 40 yrs. They were so close that my husband and I were concerned that our Uncle would die from grief and loneliness a short time after she passed. We made sure we talked to him every day, sometimes for hours at a time, and saw him whenever possible. Do you have any Aunts or Uncles you can lean on in your time of need? Any relatives of your Dad's? Our loved ones can be such an enormous help at a time like this. If you have no other family, how about a good friend? As great as this Board is, nothing helps more than actually hearing someones voice on the phone and spending time with them. I believe you need some hands on comfort and support right now. Perhaps you can find a bereavement group in your area??

I will pray for your strength to get through this and for your peace of mind and heart.

Hugs,
Lisa

With my deepest condolences

The lord works in works in mysterious ways. He is working on bringing you all together so you may live in eternal peace and happiness forever.

Now they can watch your children grow up together, and watch over you and guide you through this life.

God is The HEALER! Petey

my deepest sympathy