Hello Karen

Welcome to the OCF support site. I am sorry that you and your partner are travelling the oral cancer journey but these people will give you so much support and share their own experiences to make your journey easier. I met Gabriele on this site and it turned out that we were both patients at the same head and neck oncology unit. I have found it helpful to talk with her and others going through similar experiences.

Last week I celebrated seven years cancer free, from the end of my radiation treatment. I had stage 4 tonsil cancer with spread to the lymph system. I was treated with surgery and radiation, no chemo. If you or your partner would like to ask me about my experience with radiation you are welcome to call. Gabriele has my number. There is plenty of info here on the main OCF site also.

My advice would be to continue to do as you are ie stop smoking now (even passive smoking is damaging), ask plenty of questions and keep seeking support from OCF members.

Love from Helen

Re the smoking, and I don't want to sound preach so bear with. This has to go, and you've heard that already. But it isn't easy even with that Rx. Please consider that the addictive part of smoking is not the carcinogenic part. As you need to quit NOW, consider a nicotine replacement therapy in conjunction with other ideas. I know you can find over the counter things at the drug store, (patches, gum etc.) but they are weak, they help but maybe not to the extent that you will need. There are Rx level nicotine inhalers, nasal sprays, and even creams. Your doc may need to prescribe something in the NRT world to help get off the habit immediately but you will only get these Rx product from your doc IF you are willing to use them in a fixed, declining intensity manner. Nicotine is associate with a small increase in blood pressure, but it is unlikely to give you cancer.... Ideally you want all of this stuff out of your life. But leaving physical dependency -coupled with habit and emotional attachment- is an easy thing to say and a hard thing to do when it comes to walking away. If you are not non smokers at the end of the month consider staying an addict for a while but not to something in which tobacco is the delivery vehicle. I normally do not say these kinds of things, but clearly if you can continue to smoke while going through all this, the addiction is very strong and may take something more.

Gabe is right. I have angels on my shoulders constantly and they seem to steer me into the right things to do and protect me. I have been told many times that I must be being saved for something special.

HI All

thank you, thank you, thank you! It is a sad state of affairs that Alex just took a back seat to the forum. I am sitting here reading the forum and writing my reply rather than sitting in peak hour traffic to go give him a kiss in hospital.

All good news today. We had the ceremonial taking of the first dose of Champix (think it is called Chantix in the US) last night after I went to the pharmacy to fill the scripts. We had a long talk about the need to make us both smoke free and that this is no longer another "try". this is it - we must not fail again. I have been on the Pfizer website and their trials suggest better results with 24 week therapy and even though only 12 weeks is covered on our national health scheme, we are going to do the 24 weeks and pay the difference. Again I say, we can not fail.

Alex comes home tomorrow for a few days before an "extra" round of chemo begins next Wednesday. I don't know because I didn't see the oncologist last night but think they are giving him an extra round of chemo to give his lung time to heal before the nasty chemo/radio round starts. Alex is happy about this, visualises the cancer getting away from him if not being treated so this extra round is reassuring for him (strange man:). But seriously, I get it. I have a friend (bone cancer) who saw the extreme fatigue as a sign the treatment was working and welcomed it. I am sure many survivors would identify with this.

Must go and join that peak hour traffic ... Karen

Hi Helen
yes, I think we need to talk. your situation seems similar to ours and Alex needs to see the living proof of successful treatment. He isn't in that space yet however (in that typical boy "only weaklings need to talk" space) but will keep you in my armamentarium if that is all right. Karen

A big thank you to all my friends for the support and advice you have given Karen.
I knew you would not let me down
A small bit of history�Karen and I had lunch together most working days in the 90�s at a caf� close to work with a big ashtray between us..back in the days when
I, like a lot here gave up just before tx and I know just having the 1 now would be deadly (in more ways than one). Over 3 � years non smoker now.
On Friday we talked about how at functions the smokers are now outside and the others inside.
I have only met Alex briefly at our last Christmas Party and due to the size of our company can go for weeks without seeing Karen.
We should change that and you know I will help in any way that I can.
No traffic for me today as I am home with a head cold and will talk to you later today.
Love
Gabriele

One other tip on quitting the smoking. I did the patch and then got the lozenges. The lozenges will give you an immediate burst of nicotine (each lozenge is 4 mg or two cigarettes worth).

The gum does not deliver as fast as the lozenge. So it was the Chantix, patch and then I would grab the lozenges when the urge really hit. I went from 2 packs a day down to 10 cigarettes a day over the first two weeks on Chantix and then quite the smokes and went to the patches and lozenges. It only took three weeks to move off the patches and lozenges and be nicotine free.

The only thing I got that stopped me dead was being told OC. LOL

Me too Jim
I like the sound of the Quit Keeper Software program you mentioned Kelly.
We have just had a huge price increase here (do not even know that they cost now).
I must have saved a small fortune over the last few years but more important are the health benefits.