Mike, given all that you have been through, you can tolerate a bunch.... that you can't tolerate a few people (perhaps me included) on this site seems unlike a person that can take these treatments and still be left standing.

This board has over 100,000 threads of discussion on it and many times more individual posts. I think that a simple look at them will show that they are not the work of a few people but the voices of many, thousands. They don't always agree, and certainly have different levels of knowledge, and all have different experiences as they go down this path. That a group that diverse would all sit down and sing kumbaya together is optimistic. Hell, oncologists between each other, argue more than we do here. The vast majority of the posts here are supportive, and empathetic. And if you doubt that, look at the posts related to Danny Boy, or Minnie, just to pick a couple, and tell me that this board is not full of caring people.

If someone has posted something that may be technically incorrect, there are a few here, say Marcus, to a lesser extent me, that are on science or oncology programs routinely as a matter of our work. I try to state what the science states. If I have an opinion that is not supported by that, I try to say so. Bottom line is that what makes these boards unique in the world of the web, is they are carefully monitored in the open and in the background. Nothing could be worse that incorrect information being allowed to live on the boards that might allow someone to make a bad choice or worse - hurt them.

Open dialog is necessary, and sometimes there is passion associated with it. You should not misconstrue passionate debate for meanness, or something negative.

Charm says that he is going to work towards being more charming in his posts by 2017. In the meantime we will have to deal with his, for the most part, candid and useful posts as he is today. He can be quite knowledgeable and helpful to others. As for me, it is unlikely that I am going to be any more likable in the future. I am certainly an acquired taste. But these boards are open to all, but having said that we have banned people that are grossly uncivil. But they are also not a democracy. We keep them free of people who cannot be civil, we keep them free of people trying to sell something, we keep out of date ideas from prospering here, we work hard to see that the information is useful and supportive. It is not a perfect world and these boards also are not perfect.

[quote=Charm2017]Mike
I did dispute your 20 radiations require a PEG assertion . BTW, thanks for your implicit agreement by terming it a "correction"
[/quote]

Radiation closed the top of my throat to less than the opening of the average drinking straw. That is the REALITY of my experience. I'm glad that didn't happen to you...

Is there a 'roll eyes' moticon?

Everyone responds to things differently, and every treatment plan is as individual as we are biologically different from each other - yielding vastly different outcomes and collateral damage for all. Gross generalizations give beginners a picture, but you are definitely someone that had an experience that no one would argue is less than extreme. I don't see how anyone could think that you could even drink let alone eat without a PEG. This is a valuable point to all those who argue in the PEG war debate here, that one size does not fit all, and that posts should reflect our own experiences, and not insinuate that others experiences will be anything like ours. They may draw "possibilities" from our experience when planning for theirs, but in the end, their experience will be just that... theirs.

Mike, please don't "go away" from these boards because of feeling attacked. The typed word versus the spoken word can sometimes come across as harsh. When I first came to these boards I felt "attacked" or not treated to kindly on at least one occassion. The information and support I get here keeps me here. Some people are just very passionate about their view of things. I try and not get involved with the "PEG wars", it's not worth it to me. My husband had a lot of scoping and surgery done before he started his treatments. I have no doubt that he would have been hospitalized without the PEG. He didn't start using it until week 3 and even with it in lost 30 lbs.

In my opinion it doesn't make anyone stronger or more macho because they toughed it out without a PEG. My husband didn't have a port or use prescription pain meds. Does that make him more macho? I don't think so. Everyone responds to treatments differently and whatever gets you through is what counts. Keep reading and posting.

I agree Wanda - the whole 'war' seems petty to me.

I was looking for a place to learn, and place to share. Not a place where I would be talked down to, like I didn't 'do' my cancer correctly...

So far, I've been told here that my Doctors are not qualified... that I am not 'man' enough since I used a PEG...

Cancer is hard. Hard on the patient, hard on their loved ones and care givers. I expected this place to a lot more warm and fuzzy, and a lot less of the beat down that I've experienced...

Maybe there is a reason there's not a single color bracelet for 'our' cause...

Mike

I was just about to post "Now that's the spirit" over your clever reply about needing a "roll your eyes" button.
Then I read this latest tale of woe, so I took five minutes to read all 24 of your posts about gout, spicy foods and of course this thread. With the obvious exception of me on this one thread, you were treated with courtesy and quick responses from administrators.
Finally, you are quite the sensitive soul if you consider my posts a "beat down". Take a look at the real beat down that Eric and I exchanged in when he first joined. Or some of the other posts. Or even read Brian's first replies to me back when I had just joined the board. His replies to your posts read like a love letter in comparison to his replies to me
Cancer is hard, which is why we have to be harder.
Charm

Mike. If you have a problem with me in particular, please PM me and let's take it off the boards. It is not productive for people to be having to read this back and forth about attitudes, when their lives are full of so much other more important stuff. Charm I ask the same of you.

These boards cannot be everything to everyone, and there will alway be someone who didn't want to hear someone else's opinion. They are open to the public, and that in itself is part of the problem. You don't get to pick your posters. For my own part, all I can do is try to get solid science out there, and as everyone knowns, I am not the warm and fuzzy poster, I leave that to the many others here that really are much better at that than I will ever be. So I am not going to make excuses. If someone finds a board with better information, or they just want hand holding, they should try some of the few others that are out there. There is likely a "fit for everyone" but no single board anywhere is going to be able to control the posting of every person that comes on board, nor will they all have the same/equal levels of compassion, or knowledge. We try our best. But controlling over 6k people with different ideas, keeping the truly difficult ones at bay, seeing that snake oil salesmen are removed daily, seeing that grossly offensive people are collared and removed is a daily job for someone. It's like herding cats. I can't do it all the time, I have the missions of OCF to deal with most of my day and evenings. And to say the least board monitoring can be a thankless task, but one worth of trying to do. I am going to close this thread now.

The last thing that I wish to say is; that I do not think that, with the exception of one or two people that we have banned from the boards over the years, that anyone comes here with the intention of trashing someone else. This is not a blood sport arena. But it is a place of facts about people's experiences. No two are exactly alike and your milage may vary. If someone wants to put on another color band - it is a free world. If someone believes that the multicolored people or the teal people or whomever does it better, they will leave us on their own, and nobody at OCF is "selling you" on the idea that someone has to fly our colors. I really have to get more moderators to do this kind of thing. It takes to much time and to be frank, it sucks. There are people dying out there everyday and I am taking time to play politician/policeman in a sandbox.