| | Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 1,844 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | OP  Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 1,844 | Paula
Where Jim cannot be with you physically, he lives on in your heart through the sweet memories of the time you were blessed to have with each other. I believe that Jim is with you now and would want you to go out and live the rest of your time on this earth to the fullest. That's what I would want my sweet girl to do.
Love you Paula...keep your chin up girl and know we are here for you
Young Frack, SCC T4N2M0, Cisplatin,35+ rads,ND, RT Mandiblectomy w fibular free flap, facial paralysis, "He who has a "why" to live can bear with almost any "how"." -Nietzche "WARNING" PG-13 due to Sarcasm & WAY too much attitude, interact at your own risk.
| | | | | Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 1,844 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | OP Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 1,844 | Life is not meant to be easy, my child; but take courage -- it can be delightful.
George Bernard Shaw
Young Frack, SCC T4N2M0, Cisplatin,35+ rads,ND, RT Mandiblectomy w fibular free flap, facial paralysis, "He who has a "why" to live can bear with almost any "how"." -Nietzche "WARNING" PG-13 due to Sarcasm & WAY too much attitude, interact at your own risk.
| | | | | Joined: Jul 2010 Posts: 531 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Jul 2010 Posts: 531 | C'mon Paula, pull out of the funk! Would Jim want you lying around and feeling bad by his passing or would he want you to be up and running and LIVING your life with his lovely memories held deep in your heart and mind of all the wonderful times you had together? You can't do this to yourself, it's not your fault so don't punish yourself. Do something for yourself and feel good, if you need to cry, cry, but do not stop living! If you can't do it alone go talk to somebody, if you are involved in a church talk to the preist, pastor, clergyman. If not find a grief counselor or group to help you thru this for you are not alone in this world unfortunately with facing the death of a loved one thru cancer. So get out of bed, take a shower/cry if needed, put on some makeup and of course clothes, hehe and get the heck out of the house and live! Go have a cocktail with friend and relax! Smell the air, look at the sky, watch the sun set or sun rise or both because YOU are still alive! Now smile!  Don't you feel better?
CG to Ron
Out of Pain 4/3/13
4/12-lung and under chin growth no treatment
1/13/12 lung biopsy
6/11 recur 6/30 resection #2 Clear margins
Clear 12/10
Surg 5/13/10 neck dis/nodes part gloss/flap R thigh all teeth out
RAD 30 8/10
DX 4/2/10 "Oral Cavity" T3NOMO
12/28/07 Non Hodg Lymph remission 7/08
passed away 4.3.15, RIP Ron, you are greatly missed
| | | | | Joined: Dec 2006 Posts: 147 Senior Member (100+ posts) | | Senior Member (100+ posts)
Joined: Dec 2006 Posts: 147 | I am still going - putting one foot in front of the other; I'm taking our Challenger - "The Beast" to Galveston this weekend just to get away. While its going to be cold, at least I can be in a hotel and look at the Gulf, get a massage and have a few cocktails. I know Jim wants me to keep going and I'm trying. Sue gave me a great website for new widows - it's a great site and I'm glad to know that what I'm feeling isn't any different from others. Thanks for staying with me on this...I feel like there's no place for me here anymore, but can't help but keep coming back.
Caregiver to Husband 50 yrs.young-non smoker/non-drinker; Stage IV - all treatments stopped August 2009
Lost the battle November 23, 2010
| | | | | Joined: Jul 2010 Posts: 531 "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts) | | "Above & Beyond" Member (500+ posts)
Joined: Jul 2010 Posts: 531 | keep coming back!! And we will keep kickin you in the butt to keep on going! have a great mini vacation sure wish i could go along, i need a break...soon! weather is probably warmer than it is up here!
CG to Ron
Out of Pain 4/3/13
4/12-lung and under chin growth no treatment
1/13/12 lung biopsy
6/11 recur 6/30 resection #2 Clear margins
Clear 12/10
Surg 5/13/10 neck dis/nodes part gloss/flap R thigh all teeth out
RAD 30 8/10
DX 4/2/10 "Oral Cavity" T3NOMO
12/28/07 Non Hodg Lymph remission 7/08
passed away 4.3.15, RIP Ron, you are greatly missed
| | | | | Joined: Aug 2005 Posts: 307 Platinum Member (300+ posts) | | Platinum Member (300+ posts)
Joined: Aug 2005 Posts: 307 | Paula,
There will ALWAYS be a place for you here, so please keep coming back. We all care about you a lot and want to make sure you're doing OK inspite of the circumstances.
Hugs,
Shelley
Caregiver to husband Ron. Throat Cancer. Finished 35 radiation treatments on 11/21/04. 8/2/11 small lesion on lower gum, laser Procedure to remove. 3/6/12 Doc. removed another lesion on outside of his neck. Did a skin graft from his chest to replace the skin on his neck. Went to Heaven on 6/24/12.
| | | | | Joined: Aug 2007 Posts: 1,301 "OCF Down Under" Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | "OCF Down Under" Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Aug 2007 Posts: 1,301 | Continue to come back to the family whenever you need us Paula.
I remember your earlier posts and had to go back to when you were deciding about the beast under the topic What to Do? What to Do? I found it and see you had picked it up in April. Some of your trips were better than others however it is great to see you are taking that drive for a get away weekend.
May you continue taking and hopefully getting enjoyment from your mini holidays.
Gabriele
History Leukoplakia bx 8/2006 SCC floor mouth T3N0M0- Verrucous Carcinoma.
14 hour 0p SCC-Right ND/excision/marginal mandibulectomy 9/2006, 4 teeth removed, flap from wrist, trach-ng 6 days- no chemo/rad.
6 ops and debulking (flap/tongue join) + bx's 2006-2012.
bx Jan 2012 Hyperkeratosis-Epithelial Dysplasia
24cm GIST tumour removed 8/2013. Indefinite Oral Chemo.
1/31/16 passed away peacefully surrounded by family
| | | | | Joined: May 2008 Posts: 357 Platinum Member (300+ posts) | | Platinum Member (300+ posts)
Joined: May 2008 Posts: 357 | Good for you, Paula!
There is no right or wrong way to grieve. We each grieve in our own way and in our own time.
When my husband died, it was months before I didn't feel disoriented & a few years before I felt true joy again, but it did happen.
Working through that profound grief was hard work - the hardest I ever did. I emerged changed, but also richer in understanding that life, indeed, is for the living.
Good luck. Enjoy Galveston.
Marlene
Marginal mandibulectomy 6/17/08 resulted in DX of Stage I SCC - gingiva (3 mm) right mandible, buccal side. Clear margins. Occasional social drinker. Smoked last cigarette in 1979. Clear pet: 12/08; 7/20/09. Yay!
| | | | | Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 1,844 Patient Advocate (1000+ posts) | | OP Patient Advocate (1000+ posts)
Joined: Jan 2009 Posts: 1,844 | "You can conquer almost any fear if you will only make up your mind to do so. For remember, fear doesn't exist anywhere except in the mind."
Dale Carnegie
Young Frack, SCC T4N2M0, Cisplatin,35+ rads,ND, RT Mandiblectomy w fibular free flap, facial paralysis, "He who has a "why" to live can bear with almost any "how"." -Nietzche "WARNING" PG-13 due to Sarcasm & WAY too much attitude, interact at your own risk.
| | | | | Joined: Feb 2005 Posts: 118 Likes: 1 Senior Member (100+ posts) | | Senior Member (100+ posts)
Joined: Feb 2005 Posts: 118 Likes: 1 | "... the other side of every fear is a freedom."
Marilyn Ferguson in The Aquarian Conspiracy
Be well. Zenda
12/04 SCC Tonsil, Stage IV T3N2BM0. Mod RND, resect right oropharynx, free-flap, resect right tongue base. Erbitux,Docetaxel,RT X 33. 6/08 Mets lung, hilar lymph node:Carboplatin, Docetaxel. 2010 2nd clinical trial:lung clear, node stable. ORN,trismus,dysphagia. 8-10/2012 cryoablation,brachytherapy,cyberknife to lymph node. 12/12 NED. 6/13 Mets RLL lung: 8/13 cyberknife. 11/13 NED.
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