Deb - You have to love the people who just look at you and start crying - they are so helpful. I know the exact feelings you are going through - I wrote to a girlfriend yesterday that I finally understand and feel compassion towards people with anxiety issues. I never got it until now. The day of the dr. visits. the morning of the first chemo clinic - trying to force food into my system and keep it down. The whole thing just sucks BUT we will get through this with the ones we love. Loved the old life when everything just rolled - and given time, we'll get back there. Stay positive, be strong - keep yourself healthy - and visit your gp if you need help. I did - got me through the first couple of weeks and I've been pretty much fine since. Keep the faith.