One week ago today (Wednesday)my husband, a 45 year old athlete, non smoker, light drinker went to his GP to look at a swollen gland that had been hanging around for about 3 weeks. They sent him off for a CT the same day. ENT the next day (Thursday)and a biopsy. Friday 4pm results of biopsy, SCC - very long weekend. ENT Monday, rooted around again looking for the primary, no luck - referred to oncologist - we saw him last night. Chemo is to start next week. CT showed 3 lymph nodes involved, largest tumor is 3.4cm. PET scan today - they say we'll have results at 4:00 today. Tomorrow we go back to the ENT for random biopsy of mouth, throat - I'm not sure where else. I feel so grateful that we are on the fast track with care but on the other hand it scares me. Oncologist said with the lymph nodes involved he's prob stage 3 - may change if something shows in the PET scan. I feel like the rug has been ripped from underneath me. Please God, let me wake up. Plus I'm so darn mad - how can this be happening? I know I need to stay strong for him and our kids (ages 9 and 14). I've spent the last 7 days reading everything I can get my hands on - respected sites - and it all seems so doom and gloom once there is node involvement. He hasn't read anything - too afraid. And neither one of us have come out and asked any of the doctors "So, what are his chances?" "How long does he have?" Just can't do it - yet.

I know I've rambled on and I apologize. I look for any advice or direction you can give me to help him through this. Thank you to everyone for posting on this site - has been heartwarming, scary, sad but also gives me some hope.

Lisa,

You have a tough road ahead, but what you will find on this site is that it is a road well traveled. You will find many here who started in about the same place as your husband and are still around to help others just getting started.

I know that the best help we can give you at this stage is assisting in making sure you are getting the absolute best care you can get.

Where are you in Texas, and where is your husband being treated?

Kelly

Hi Lisa. First take a deep breath. I was exactly in your shoes 1 year ago today. My husband was diagnosed 1-13-09 with Stage IV "base of tongue" cancer. The ONLY symptom my husband had was a non-painful lump in his neck. That turned out to be a 4cm malignant lymph node. He had a CT Scan which showed thickening tissue at the base of his tongue. The tumor in the base of tongue was the primary. I drove myself crazy "googling" long term survival stats. I lost my mom 2 years ago to Pancreatic Cancer so I unfortunately have been down the cancer road before. Don't drive yourself crazy with the doom and gloom stats. Your husband is a statistic of 1 and there are plenty of people who beat this cancer.

I won't lie to you, both you as the caregiver and your husband are in for a rough journey but this cancer is treatable and cureable. My husband went through 35 daily radiation treatments, 6 weeks of chemo, neck disection and had to have a feeding tube (PEG) placed before treatment began. He is alive, cancer free and doing really well. Please feel to ask any and all questions. You have found a great group of patients and caregivers who are more than willing to help and a wealth of information.

My husband never smoked a day in his life, drank casually, took vitamins every day and ate a well balanced diet.

Good news is that your husband seems to have doctors that are on top of things and got his tests right away. My husband's three doctors - the MO (Medical Oncologist), RO (Radiation Oncologist) and ENT all told him that this cancer has the most brutal treatment out there but we can beat this and cure you. Keep posting and asking questions.

We are in San Antonio. We've talked about MD Anderson in Houston and depending upon the PET results, may take the short trip over. Both the oncologist and ENT come very highly recommended from 2 different and reputable sources. The oncologist works out of the Methodist hospital system. So far we haven't had "treatment" just one doctor visist or test to another for the last week. The chemo next week is scheduled as in patient at Methodist Hospital in San Antonio.

Lisa, we are here for you to ramble to at anytime. Ramble, curse or anything that gets it off your chest. You have to have a place and people to ease the load on your mind. I hate to say this, but welcome to our home and the best of it to you both.

South Texas Oncology and Hematology is the clinic.

Lisa,

MDA is about as good as it gets in treating oral cancer nationally. Some here have traveled hundreds of miles just to be treated there and I considered it myself and I'm in Michigan.

MDA is a Comprehensive Cancer Center (CCC) and that is good as you can get. Given your proximity, I would have them do the second opinion at the very least and very seriously consider them as your primary care facility. They are that good.

Kelly

MD Anderson is the highest rated Cancer facility in the US and 2nd in Otolaryngology (Ear Nose Throat). The best thing you can do for your husband is get him the finest care available to you...after that the only thing you can control is your attitude and your nutrition.

Good luck

Eric

Lisa,

I too have walked this path and I remember all the emotions you are feeling right now.

First off, I can recommend a notebook to keep all of this together. In particular, those plastic sheets that hold business cards. You will have so much paper work and doctors appts and information that each of the docs need. Keep a card from each office in that notebook...you will need to write the information a thousand times. All the reports, information sheets, etc will be where you can find them...use tabs for different categories. It will give you a little sense of control.

Secondly, I recommend that you at least get that second opinion from MDA. Hopefully, they will give you their blessings to receive treatment at home as they are probably familiar with the San Antonio physicians. My Bill was seen at a Comprehensive Cancer Center (Moffitt, Tampa, Fl) for a second opinion and we, with their OK, came home for the chemo and rads...we travel back for checkups, scans, etc.

As Wanda and others have said - you are in for a pretty rough ride but you and hubby will get thru this and this forum and all these people here who have been thru this will help you.

Deb

PET scan wasn't ready at 4:00 - so 9:30 tomorrow morning.

I look at my husband - healthy, strong - my best friend since we were 15, 30 years... - and again, how can he have this when he feels fine. He is ready for the battle. Told me today that he knows that the oncologist is gonna blast him because he's 45, 6'2 and 205... said he saw a gleam in his eye that here was a chance to skew the stats... Hey - thank you all - made it through the day partly because of you all.