Man, are you reading more into this than I said. You didn't hit a nerve with me, I was merely stating a fact that I thought might ease your mind. There ARE cancers in which there is a genetic predisposition for people to get them, but this is not one of them. There are also cancers that we have no clue as to why people get them. In 95% of the cases oral cancer is not one of them.

I didn't say anything about smoking, and to be honest I don't remember if it was a factor with your brother, and I didn't ask with you. I speak with about 10 cancer patients a day. I answer another 15-20 private emails a night, and when I have time, I post what I hope will be helpful comments here. If you think that I can remember the details of every person I have talked with or about in the last 7 years of doing this every day, you are very wrong. So I speak in generalities in some cases. Yours for instance. I figured someone going in for a biopsy, who didn't mention anything in their post about any risk factors like smoking, drinking etc., but only a possible familial relationship link to the oral cancer as a risk factor, might have their level of anxiety relieved some by knowing that wasn't likely.

So you can come here and vent all you want, but jumping on my shit because you read something into my reply which didn't exist, which was intended to ease your mind some, doesn't qualify as venting. Everyone is sympathetic to your loss, me included.