Thanks Jean.

I am frustrated and scared, not really angry. I mean sis-in-law means well, but I need details and she gives me few. Brother is the oldest of us five kids, I'm the youngest. Mom and Dad have passed, and the other three live in Georgia (we're in NY). So this time the family side of caretaking is all on me, and I have to give the other siblings answers.

You don't sound preachy at all.

I suspect at some point I may become the primary caregiver, because her reaction when we found out about the spread to the lungs was to be paralyzed into inaction and stunned silence. It may just be too hard on her to do it effectively. We'll see, time will tell and I will do what I have to do.

Thanks Jean, for the words of wisdom. It helps a lot to know you're not the only one to have been in the situation.

Colleen