This subject is an interesting paradox. They have actually been doing some science in this area, not only around having positive attitudes but around prayer and haven't really found a correlation between doing these things and a better outcome. For instance, at my church they almost treat me like a "hero" because I was one of the FEW that they prayed for that actually survived (someone candidly admitted that to me one day).

In some ways there is a DANGER to this mindset as some might feel their situation even more hopeless that they CAN"T have a positive attitude because of having a life threatening disease, having the sh*t kicked out of them in treatment - their relationships, sex lives and economics detroyed. NEVER again having their life back as they once knew it. Having a positive attitude is certainly something that the caregivers would like to see, but from the patients perspective it's a tougher nut to crack, especially in the last weeks of treatment when you are almost crawling into treatment every day and sleeping on the bathroom floor, curled up in a fetal position, so you don't puke in the bed or the hallway. Sometimes it's a better and more real approach, to say it's ok to be angry, depressed, sick and tired. Did my positive attitude, marching in there every day like a trooper help my survival - I doubt it - but it DID help the techs with the worst job in the world.

Acceptance is the toughest stage in the greiving process.

As we all respond differently to treatment - we all have different coping mechanisms. If we weren't different emotionally, then we might as well be clones or we could get all of our psychology from Dr. Phil.

This is another topic that will never have a resolution because of its great paradox.

(I love it when we start with aloe juice and end up with paradox) That's what makes this board so much fun - or at least blights some of the grimness.