Thank you, Joanne. That was exactly what I needed to read. For the last eight months I've been a caregiver/advocate for my dearest friend and significant other of 21 years and he's not in a great place at this point.

It's been a continual challenge and nightmare for both of us--his throat cancer diagnosis, neck dissection, laryngectomy, chemo and radiation treatment and the aftereffects (repeated and mostly always unsuccessful throat dilations in order to be regain the ability to swallow anything at all). I struggle daily with the need to keep positive for him and try my best but still feel like I'm not going to do enough no matter what.

Have been trying to power through the fear and guilt but it caught up with me this week and I'm trying antidepressants and reaching out more to friends and family. Don't know what's ahead and just taking it a day at a time, and it is so hard to realize how much has been lost. Of course I'm grateful he's surviving but wish I wave a magic wand or do something to make things better. This message board and particularly this forum topic is a lifeline for me.

Nancy