Pain management is a basic patient right. Advil is not going to get it. She needs "long term" opioid pain management such as Fentanyl pain patches and "short term" such as morphine for the breakthrough pain. Yes it can knock you out until your body adapts to it. Sometimes they have to try different things like Oxycontin, etc. She needs to describe her pain on a scale of 0-10 with 10 being the worst, unbearable, etc.

She probably needs medication for depression as well as this is a very common treatment side effect.

The flap procedure is to replace the bulk of the tissue that was removed during surgery. It shouldn't impact her survival.

The ulcers could be caused by a variety of post treatment issues such as radiation damage, thrush. etc. They can take a long time to heal but they they do.

There are people here who have had flaps and some with piece of jawbone removal and are doing well. I am sure that they will share their story shortly.

Take to heart what Erik said about going to a comprehensive cancer center. She really needs a coordinated medical team approach to this disease.