Kathleen,
I too, had a trachea, and once it was removed, the Drs. advised me to put my finger over the spot whenever I spoke in order for it to heal better. I was very depressed following my radiation treatments and my voice was awful! I did not even attempt to eat anything for weeks, and I found ice cream particularly difficult because of the cold and the fact that lactose products seem to produce so much mucous.
Your mum's expectations are certainly too high. These things take time. However depression is not a rational thing...it is a feeling.." the old black dog" and one cannot be talked out of it. Please seek help for her rather it is in the form of counseling or ultimately, antidepressants.
My depression passed, my energy level has returned, even though I am still on the PEG and can only eat liquids.
Keep up the good work.

Danny G.