There were two issues post surgically for me, one was physical the other emotional. The physical was the easiest one for me to deal with. To fully understand what follows, you need to know that in my lifetime I have had a few traits which, at this stage of my life, I am not particularly proud of. I have been egotistical, vain, and centered around my own achievements. While I have grown away from these traits as a result of my cancer experience, they nevertheless were who I was during treatment and recovery. So while I healed fairly rapidly physically after a modified radical neck dissection, when I looked at myself, and at the faces of those who looked at me, (with the exception of Ingrid), I became depressed. Acute weight loss, sunken eyes and cheeks from poor nutrition and chronic lack of sleep, skin the color of an old piece of uncooked chicken that has been left in the fridge too long, all contributed to the reflection someone who I didn