Valerie---you are stronger than you think you are!
You're already doing it and you're coping--and just read other's posts and realise how hard it is, how much worse it gets, but how much there is to celebrate when the milestones come around--as they do, and will!
But my mantra is how much I admire you carers, what you suffer and go through, and I always advocate how much you need to look after YOURSELVES!
Your guy's cancer (and yes, it's usually women who are the caregivers) aint your fault, and may alter him for a while, but you must so NOT beat yourselves up during the treatment and survival process--you MUST make time/opportunity to keep yourselves happy and healthy and know that for lots, this will all pass and get better,
Brenda