Vicki,
Take a deep breath, and move forward. It is scary, absolutely. It is also treatable. Where will your husband be treated? There are a lot of comprehensive cancer centers around North America; make sure that he's being treated by people with experience in head and neck cancers.

Oral cancer is relatively rare; there are a lot of Doctors who simply don't see it often enough to be able to deal with it properly. Keep coming here...we've all been down the road before, and we'll help in any way we can
Wayne