The title says it all. I'm 46, and besides being fat and having Type 2 diabetes, I've always been pretty healthy. A few weeks ago, I chomp down and an almond sliver goes into my gum, it swells up and stays swollen, starts to bleed. My doctor says "Yeah, you infected your tooth, see the dentist." The dentist freaks out, sends me to an oral surgeon, who sends me to an ENT, who sends me to another surgeon, who debulks the lump and pathology comes back as SCC in the gum and lower jaw. Surgeon doesn't think it's made it to the lymph nodes, or anywhere else. PET scan yesterday, waiting on results. Mandibular resection scheduled for the week after next Meanwhile the lump is already starting to regrow in the week since the debulking.

I'm looking at 5 year OC survival rates, and trying to tease out some hope. But it's not working. The doctor says he thinks we're catching it early, and I hope he's right. But what feels so unfair about it is, other than the lump, an itchy cheek, and maybe a sore throat, I feel fine. Like really fine, better than I've felt in years. I'm going to go out and chop some wood later, and rough house with our 4 year old. But in the back of my mind, it feels like I've been given 10 days to live.

I'll fight, with everything I have, to beat this thing. But how do you get your brain around it? How do you not take it as a veritable death sentence?