he made it through the rad and chemo treatments but this week.....oh my. i got a hold of a nurse without him knowing and told her what is going on which she shared with the team.

he is arguing with me about things like...we don't leave at 7:30 am. Yes, for 34 days, we have left at 7:30 am. He wanted pancakes right now from McDonalds. I said I will drive through when we get near the hospital. So we did. 3 stack and 2 milks. I said you are going to throw that up because he put this huge bite in his mouth. He hasn't eaten or hardly drank anything for over 2 months. Yep....he was so happy he could swallow it and then he threw it up immediately. Doctor told him to start with a small bite not a stack of 3 pancakes! He was sitting in the driver's seat and wanted the keys. I said no. I will not get in a car with you as you cannot have a good reaction time as a driver. I'm getting irritated at this point because I"m being challenged on everything.

I told the nurses of his history of verbal/emotional abuse and how he told me he wasn't using the feeding tube because he did not want to. He had told them yesterday to just take it out and they refused. They also told him to use that IV drip as he's losing too much weight so we will see if that happens, he's refused up to this point. They took it from there and told him to buck up and just do these things so he can recover faster. The doctor also told him no driving for a month. I"m pretty sure he is not their first stubborn patient. I talked to them afterward and they asked if they covered everything and I said yes..thank you!

My daughter hid all the vehicle keys as he took my van angrily the other day late at night and no one knew where he went to and now with him demanding the keys this morning....she also hid all his shotgun shells too. She said, he is not present mentally right now and let's just cover all the bases. He is a hunter and has lots of guns right in his bedroom. Oh boy.

I have referred to him as a belligerent 2 yr old right now. I am holding on but this stuff....well, it never crossed my mind that I would be dealing with his control issues like I"m having to do at this point.

thanks for reading.....you have been a lifeline for me!