Hello and welcome.
I have been where you are right now. Diagnosis is so overwhelming. I just told myself " 1 day at a time". Every day I kept repeating this and honestly this is what got me through the early days. Stay positive, always. You will both need this. The going will get rough , but we are here for whenever you need.
You can do this,
Tammy

Caregiver/advocate to Husband Kris age 59@ diagnosis
DX Dec '10 SCC BOT T4aN2bM0 HPV+ve.Cisplatin x3 35 IMRT.
PET 6/11 clear.
R) level 2-4 neck dissection 8/1/11 to remove residual node - necrotic with NED
Feb '12 Ca back.. 3/8/12 total glossectomy/laryngectomy/bilat neck dissection/partial pharyngectomy etc. clear margins. All nodes negative for disease. PEG in.
March 2017 - 5 years disease free. Woohoo!