Welcome moona11. You have found an exceptional community to help you through this. Re: the fear. Everyone deals with it differently. What lies ahead can also strengthen you and your faith; it did for me. I wrote down my fears and shared them with someone I trust and with my higher power. Writing the fears down helped me face them, pray about them and turn them over which in turn gave me the energy to take care of the medical challenges one appointment, one procedure, one treatment, one day at a time. I read ChristineB's post with respect. There are people here with amazing insight. Share here what you have going on; I think there will be both psychological and practical benefits for you by so doing. Let me know if there are any specific questions.
________________________________________________
RogerP
SCC BOT with bilateral lymph node tumors - Stage IV
Dx 7/10/14
Biopsy shows HPV marker
Non-smoker, non-drinker
Came to MD Anderson a CCC on 7/24/14
PET did not show metastasis 8/2/14
Began induction chemo 8/10/14 Carboplatin, Paclitaxel and Cetuximab
Completed induction chemo 9/22/14
Completed chemo and proton radiation 11/13/14
Follow up checkups 1/15, 5/15, 8/15 12/15 Cancer free
Otherwise healthy 68 year old male from La Selva Beach, CA