Dear friends,

I'm sorry for being gone for such a long time. I appreciate the messages sent directly to me from various people letting me know I was missed and thought about.

Not really sure where to begin. I'll answer the question I'm asked over and over again by everyone I meet. "How are you feeling?" I am doing very well. My doctors are still pleased with my progress. The lead doctor continues to be amazed that my surgery was only 4 months ago.
My neck is still hard, but the feeling has returned to most of it. I was having a little trouble hearing (sounded kinda hollow is the best way i can describe it) but that has returned to normal.

I do, however, think I returned to work too soon and I'm now still playing catch up to everything. The people in the parish have been great about asking after me and being patient with me. My bishop has even given me an adjunct priest as an assistant. LOL, so instead of cutting back I've tried to do more. I guess I figured that now the essentials are covered and with two of is we can start to do more then I was doing alone.

There are two things that I'm having trouble with. The first is that twice now I've tried to return to Tae Kwon Do classes. I haven't been able to. I still lack strength in my left arm (thats where they took the flap from to do the reconstruction of my tongue). I've been doing some minor exercises to try to rebuild the strength but it is going so slowly. And since I've been so inactive since the surgery my stamina isn't nearly what it used to be. Also with the weatehr turning cold and damp there are a few more aches and more stiffness then before but I expected that to happen.

I know what I need to do to deal with that. The other thing I am having trouble with isn't as easy to sort out. Outside of my immediate family and closest friends (and even they do it from time to time but not as much anymore) it seems people deal with me as if I'm fragile or about to fall over dead. I appreciate their concern and I recognize that they are honestly concerned. Its just that it seems that I'm not Fr. Mike to them any more. There was a time when people would only whisper the word cancer and it seems that that is the way people are responding to me. I've tried my best to be honest with them about how I am doing but I don't know how to respond to this.

One of the best things that happened over Thanksgiving dinner was this: We were all talking (ok we're Italian so we were talking loudly ;-) ) and at one point I had a little trouble and slurred a bit and stuttered through a word or two. My older brother teased me about it just like he would have before this mess started. I responded "hey, give me a break I've only had the new tongue for 4 months" We all laughed. With my family atleast I'm still me.

I guess thats part of the reason I've been away too long. I'm still me, nothing more or less. My struggle with SCC doesn't define who I am but many only see that part of me. I've missed being here though. There are too many good people here. And atleast here I know there are those who understand.

So as I told the people of my parish when I first returned: I'm alive, I can still speak (or in this case type ;-) ) so like it or not your stuck with me because I'm baaa aaack.

Peace,

Fr. Mike