RiverGypsy...I feel your apprehension. I had oral cancer surgery in February which required a trache. I needed it as well and it wasn't a lot of fun to deal with, but the drugs they had me on morphine & ativan) really helped with my anxiety. I didn't tolerate the trache well - no gonna lie - but I was on steroids for something else prior to surgery and it greatly affected my ability to heal quickly. The suctioning, although unpleasant, is really helpful and hopefully you will transition quickly to doing it yourself.

I told myself before surgery (especially when I found myself dwelling) that worrying about things I have no idea about will only use up the energy I needed for doing other more important or more enjoyable things. It was good advice and I took it when I could, and prayed about it when I couldn't.

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers,

HB