Hello bwb, sitting here talking with Stephen my husband about what you and Chris are about to go through. Stephen wants to tell you that he wouldn't have made it through without my constant help to supplement the nurses.
The main issue being the trach. You can't drink water, so you will need to moisten Chris's lips, she will be extremely dry. You will need to help suction the thick phlegm from the treachia constantly. Our concern is the lenght and great involvement of Chris's surgery. Your mom's body will endure quite a shock from being under for that length of time. Stephen's surgery lasted 12 hours and he recovered as expected but he did have a persistent high fever for 12 hours for which they could not find the cause. He also developed large bed soars (dark red circles). I had to be careful to prop up his body on that side for weeks and with all the drainage tubes he could hardly move. The nurses will be in every hour at first, so there is no sleep. The nurses shifts will spread appart eventually but you will still probably not be abble to sleep.
This is one of the biggest surgery you can go through. You should have a family member at Chris's side 24/7. I moved in with a cot, I had no choice, each nurse had at least six patients to attend and Stephen was constently chocking on phlegm. The firstt night was OK because he was in ICU with a one to one nurse but from then on I was sitting at the edge of his bed with the suction at hand.
I advocated for Stephen when he was in discomfort and got to the bottom of his stomach pain (his feeding tube had gotten tangled up).
Get all your family assigned to specific tasks so you don't need to worry about any extra responsibilities. Make a shudele of all who can stay at Chris's side. When Chris gets back home it would help to have pur�ed soup frozen and ready to go.
My number one advice for any caregiver is to rest and sleep if at all possible because I went through 5 consecutive days without laying down and that will render anyone into a heavy fog. During Stephen's surgery, I had my sister at my side which really helped because she is a nurse practitioner and her husband is a doctor who has worked with cancer patients. We layed still, talked very little and then we walked around Halifax to get some treats, sunshine and fresh air. I felt unbelievably peaceful because I had done all I could do and my husband's life was in the surgeon's hands whom I trusted.
Do you have any crafts that you can do to keep your hands busy? I always carry some markers and a journal when I am in a waiting room and doodle or write.
If you want to read my hospital journal of all the events and complications that ensued follow this link:
http://www.ihadcancer.com/ScintillaRay/journalHope this helps, ask any questions, Sophie & Stephen
