my first scan is tomorrow after finishing radiation 8 weeks ago,i have convinced myself that the cancer has spread because I have upper back ache,i am terrified and no amount of reassurance is helping,i am snapping at everyone,crying for silly reasons,i hate what this has done to me and my life

nov 2013 ssc of buccal mucosa stage 2
jan 2014 neck dissection because of cancer in lymphnodes
feb 2014 6 weeks of radiation
march 2015 tumour buccal mucossa stage 4
june 2015 lower jaw removed
nov 2015tumour in left node on neck
jan 2016 radiation and chemo to commence
Nov 2015 left deck dissesction,1 posative node