Hi Blair, sounds like all is going rather well.
Listen to Christine. Oral cancer is an aggressive beast. Hit it with the works first time and that means radiation when your team recommends it. Especially as you already have spread to a Lymph node - which makes it a stage 4.
You do not want to have any regrets at a later time. Please do not consider any non medical alternative treatments. This is your life you are talking about.
Radiation is doable and many here will help you through.
One other thing - I would keep the PEG in situ if you are going to have radiation treatment.
Tammy

Caregiver/advocate to Husband Kris age 59@ diagnosis
DX Dec '10 SCC BOT T4aN2bM0 HPV+ve.Cisplatin x3 35 IMRT.
PET 6/11 clear.
R) level 2-4 neck dissection 8/1/11 to remove residual node - necrotic with NED
Feb '12 Ca back.. 3/8/12 total glossectomy/laryngectomy/bilat neck dissection/partial pharyngectomy etc. clear margins. All nodes negative for disease. PEG in.
March 2017 - 5 years disease free. Woohoo!