All,

Another newcomer to the site. 3 more rad (of 35) left. 1 more chemo. Usual side effects but handling the process physically just fine. Mentally just flat out depressed as life has been perfect - great wife, kids, occupation, active -- now this. A lot of dismal outlooks from what I can tell and looking for more silver linings than I have been able to read/find.

I am not sure how I will find or adjust to a new normal and maintain the positive presence and influence to the family. I hate to think they will come to know me as something different than I have been - going from a strong provider to possibly more physically and emotionally dependent - and wondering how depressing a new normal will be knowing how good things were going and what this seems likely to bring.

Any real positive stories or thoughts?

Thanks.

J.

Age 47 Dx SCC BOT stage IV HPV+. RadX35 ChemoX3 (Cisplatin). PEG.