So sorry to see your mother is going thru OC again! Its bad enough to have it once but twice or more can be emotionally devastating. I wish you had a better support system. Its stinks that everyone isnt on the same page with their priorities. A cancer diagnosis can really bring out the worst in some people.

Wonders can be done with speech pathologists. You never know, she may be able to talk understandably after surgery. I had a friend who had a glossectomy removing the majority of her tongue and she shocked them all when she was still able to speak. With work her speech wasnt too bad. Ive seen some do amazingly well with a very small portion of tongue. Some get graphs or a free flap if a large section is being taken.

Hopefully your mother is being treated at a CCC. You may want to consider a second opinion too.

Best wishes!