It is a good thing to be scared it means you are not going into this blindly.

My Alex found that the day before anything was the worst because that was the day he feared the unknown the most. On every occasion, (including radiation) he came out of his treatment/test/consult saying "that wasn't as bad as I thought it would be".

The big difference with surgery and radiation is that with surgery you go in feeling fine and come out feeling like hell. With radiation, you go in feeling fine (albeit scared to death) and come out feeling no different. Some people might even come out feeling better because the fear of the unknown is lifted. Alex commented that he looked forward to radiation in a perverse sort of way because he could visualise the radiation "nuking" the tumour which made him feel he was doing something. The backslide happens slowly so you have time to come to terms with it.

Just think of how many thousands of people have gone through this and made it out the other side. You can do it too!!