So sorry to hear of Ron's condition. Agree that hospice could be of great assistance to you both. It doesn't matter that he is mobile and as his condition worsens they should be able to help with finding care for when you ae not home as well as helping you know what to expect as things progress.

I agree with Tamvonk that having a CT wouldn't change anything. I, personally, believe strongly in patient's rights including their right to say "enough is enough". Sometimes we want to hold on to our loved ones so much we put our wants ahead of theirs even though they are the ones who bodies are being ravaged by disease and treatments. As for Ron's drinking, it is likely his way of coping with knowledge that his condition is terminal and emotional (and perhaps physical) pain. Obviously he is isn't comfortable talking about his feelings, but "crying and hoping to "hold out until Christmas" shows that he thinking about the end. At this point why try to remove the only coping mechanism he has?

The job of being a caregiver is so hard - the job of letting go even harder. I hope that you will be able to use the time you have to show Ron your love and support and that you will use friends and this forum to help you deal with your fears, anger, frustration.