Oh Didier, I know you are in a tough spot right now, but know it will get better. What you accomplished is to take care of your mother when she is unable to help herself, and that is no small thing. It is going to be a while yet until everything is easy, so please, please don't be hard on yourself. You are a good person doing an important and tough job. I cannot really see into the future, but based on my experience and that of many people on this forum, I am pretty sure that when your mother has the PEG and has become comfortable with it, your life and hers will suddenly be a lot better. So as trite as it sounds, hang in there!
Joanna