Hi, sounds like you are exactly on track, unfortunately. I got to the same place. I was drinking high calorie shakes that my husband would add lots of ice cream, but milk products and mucous don't mix. I didn't know what I was going to do and couldn't eat or drink anything. My husband went to "The Vitamin Shop" and talked to the owner. They found a high calorie water soluble shake that I lived on for the rest of that year. The owner made sure he was never out of stock because it was the only water soluble shake they had. It kept me alive. It wasn't fun and you couldn't really taste it anyway, but it comes in a couple flavors. You should also have access to a nutritionist with your treatments and they can probably give you some really high calorie drinks. I have a relative who had throat cancer and was able to swallow all sorts of foods pur�ed. I couldn't but many others do. Plus I'm a vegetarian so getting vitamins and proteins without animal products was also a challenge. Make sure you have enough pain meds too. I found that I needed more and that actually allowed me to suffer through meals. Good luck, keep trying to find something and do not hesitate to talk to your doctors about your fear and no food.