Hey Jon-
I worked for the county government. Unfortunately, especially without the protection of union, employers WILL find a way to let you go if they see fit.
My leave of absence was approved 3/11 thru 6-1-12. I was surprised they held my job open for so long. I learned the ulterior motive later. Doesn't matter, cuz I'm not ready to return to working.
I don't know your financial situation. I do know how traumatic the thought of losing this job, with great pay and benefits, was for me. It played a huge role in my depression, fear and anger. Another damn thing cancer took from me. F'er!!
After losing the job, however, even with the financial worries, I couldn't believe thr relief I felt. I think it was because of the pressure I was putting on myself to get well and return to work. And the anger I felt at not being able to. I even lied to my doctors and family re how I was feeling in order to get a release back to work. Knowing full well it was not the right thing for my body and health. I wanted that damn job so bad. But it's gone and there's nothing I can do about it. So now I don't have that pressure to hurry and get well and I can concentrate on my recovery more fully.
I wish things weren't so hard for you. I'd like to say that things will get better, but can only speak for myself. I've hurt bad, Jon. Didn't want to go on one more day. Thought of ways I might end it. But thoughts of how horrible that would be for my family - my 3 daughters, my mom whose already lost one daughter and her husband of 52 years to cancer, my sister who was by my side thru all this shit and already held the hand of one sister as she took her last breath, my fabulous husband of 10 years who has been a rock for me - those thoughts kept me plugging along. And things do get better. But it's harder for some than others. Don't beat yourself up like I do. It's a colossal waste of precious time.
And I'm older than you, so you have to listen to me LOL
Hang in there. No matter how dark it seems. I do have some very wonderful days too. And am finally learning to take it easier on myself.
I hope you don't have to struggle financially on top of everything else. It can make it so much harder. I hate money!
-Wendy