Hi, Gayle - the viscous lidocaine seems to do a better job of deadening the pain.

You can order the maunka online - Cheryl may have a preferred source to point you at.

Other stuff - add a humifier to Jerry's desk at work and next to the bed so that dryness isn't exacerbating the problem.

Text or IM him to keep up your communication - if you're not talking to him so you don't make his mouth hurt its likely not helping your relationship and his depression. Been there, done that, it took me a while to tell what was going on.

Ask him to help you with something he can do without talking or fatiguing himself. Maybe - pruning a tree in the nice spring sunshine, or reaching stuff in a closest, or putting moisture cream on your back. You're probably trying to do as much as you can for him - however practical, it may not be the best thing for him emotionally.

My advice to you, personally - get out for lunching and shopping with girlfriends if you can - you need a break, too!