I think the main theme of Michelle's comment is this: You WILL get through it. I had my hell last year starting about now and spent the rest of spring and all of summer wanting to die. I just couldn't stand the pain and misery I was experiencing. Yet, each day I kept trying to save myself. In my blog (benscancerfight.blogspot.com) I remember saying that my friends and family cared more about me than I did. It was true. Yet, here I am almost a year from the end of treatment doing pretty well. I have no idea if the cancer will return or not but I live today for today and enjoy the life I have now. For everyone going through this: just hang in there. Things will be better.