Okay-trying to keep a good mental attitude re the doc's latest recommendation....a recent CT scan has shown a suspicious mass around some lymph nodes under my chin, but a larger growth has partially damaged and almost completely surrounds my larynx. He, being a surgeon, wants to cut out both masses-including my larynx-and leave me with a hole in my throat to breathe through.
I don't understand how this could possibly come as a shock or even a surprise to me-I've seen more than a little of the havoc (mental AND physical)that this disease can bring about with such ferocity. Somehow, I guess I'd lulled myself into the belief -not beng "sick" for the past few years-that I'd be fat 'n happy 'till OLD old age and die peacefully in my sleep.....yeah, right.
The surgery doesn't bother me-even the hole in the throat....but not being able to speak AT ALL is more than I care to even THINK about handling right now.
Anyone else been through this and lived to tell the tale? Why the hole in the throat? Would I still be able to use one of those electronic thingies held to my throat to communicate (more wishful thinking, I'm sure!) How the heck does one FUNCTION at all in society at large without speaking?
You guys have been my rock for many years and I know some of you have SOMEthing that I can look upon as "positive" coming out of this. The only thing I can come up with is that "at least I won't have to go around sounding like THIS any more!" :-) (I speak with a very "gravelly" barely understandable voice righ now)