I'm new to posting here, so first I want to say hello everyone. With all the support that we give at home, to be able to come together somewhere to support each other is a beautiful thing. It shows how much we are all capable of.

On a personal note... My husb. Matt is going in tomorrow for a lobectomy of his lower left lung. He's told me that he will tell the docs dnr, no additional measures, etc. if his heart stops during surgery... that's it. he's done.
I can respect that on some level. We've had a hell of a time the past two years.
It began in his tonsil, family doc kept prescribing antibiotics thinking it was strep or whatever. When his right tonsil took up most of his throat space, he finally got an ENT referral. Cancer diagnosed in June 2009. PET scan showed it was already in his lungs. He refused neck dissection partially out of vanity. He didn't want to lose that much of "himself". All teeth pulled on right side of mouth. Lung tumor biopsy then resection July 2009, along with PEG inserted. Rad+chemo lasted until Oct 2009, with pauses for two hospital stays for collapsed lung and infected PEG site.
Dec 2009 - Clear PET.
April 2009 - Two lung tumors pop up... one in each lung.
Unsuccessful and brutal chemo attempt.
They decide to biopsy right lung. Same cancer, another thorachotomy is done in August 2010. Left lung... not in good place to biopsy, they decide that it doesn't "act" like the other so it's not going to be the focus.
Oct PET, left lung tumor grown to 6cm now, that's almost double from Aug. scan, plus a new growth on his pelvic bone that will need radiation asap after he's recovered from lobectomy.
I'm stressed.. VERY. I work full time to keep insurance, and all day today i've been shaky and having anxiety attacks.
I just needed to vent.
So, thank you for being here, and for reading my story.

Christine