Hi Tabitha,

After nearly 30 years of marriage, I thought I had perfected the art of nagging. Things changed with the cancer. My husband can be very pig headed. I realized that some of this is his way of being in charge of his life and he was doing things his way to spite the cancer and not me or the doctors. I don�t argue over eating, using fluoride or taking pain killers. He knows what he should be doing. On the other hand, I call the doctor when his fever is over 103F, forced him to go to the emergency room when he was short of breath, make him take his antibiotics and antifungal tables and make it clear that there are times when I won�t take �NO� for an answer.

Tim still has his sense of humor, so I�m carefully learning how to use it to defuse the anger that comes when he gets frustrated. While waiting for a chest x-ray in the emergency room, I pointed out that even the nurse thought he was acting like an SOB (abbreviation on his chart for short of breath). Luckily it didn�t backfire.

I would suggest that you try some anti-anxiety/anti-depressant drugs. I went on paroxetine and it saved me. Having to be the strong one is very hard. Seeing the love of your life weak and in pain is very hard. It�s nothing like having cancer, but don�t be ashamed of seeking pharmaceutical help. And keep reading the Caregivers forum on this site. At least you know you are not alone!