Hi Yogip

Alex and I just finished treatment at the end of August (cisplatin weekly + radiation daily for 7 weeks) on Sydney's north shore so our experience is fresh. On "chemo day" we compared notes with others. Lesson One: Everyone is different.

My Alex "sailed" through radiation compared with the 16 weeks chemo beforehand but I think this is because he was really sick before chemo (had lost 15kgs by diagnosis, dropped another 12kgs by cycle 2, multiple lung collapses and 1 major lung surgery unrelated to cancer) so started sick and malnourished. By the time we got to chemoradiation, the chemo had shrunk his tumour, we had got feeding back under control, and Alex was positively buoyant. Lesson Two: Nutrition and hydration is an important part of treatment.

Alex's new friend Dave did not fare so well and started suffering at the end of week two and by the second last week he was nearly silent except to abuse his wife. Unsure why, whether it is stress or chemicals, but gentle souls can turn into devils during treatment, and I also copped more abuse in 6 weeks than during our entire relationship. Of course I was also under pressure and in pain so maybe my own coping mechanism was a bit damaged (I definitely felt very sorry for myself and resentful of Alex). Lesson Three: People are not themselves during treatment.

People will tell you to look after yourself but the reality is, it's difficult if not impossible - not until there is a hiatus when you can go away and quietly have your nervous breakdown in peace . Lesson Four: Plan your getaway and hang on to the thought when your day is dark.

Good luck and keep checking back here for tips and advice or just a vent. The people here are mainly American but there are some old hands all over Australia who can help with the Ozzie perspective (our healthcare system is just so different although actual treatment appears the same). Lesson Five: Seek support