Hi Benfry - You sure have come to the right place for the best information and lots of compassionate help! When my son was diagnosed with tongue cancer, he also had put off telling anyone or doing anything about it. He had a lump under his tongue for several months until the pain got so bad he finally went to his dentist. The reason he had pain was because the cancer cell was attached to a nerve which is not the case for many cancers which are not accompanied by pain. Everybody is different and many have survived later stage oral cancer just fine. My son's dentist referred him right away to an oral surgeon who performed a biopsy and was then referred to a surgeon at a Comprehensive Cancer Center. His was stage 2 squamous cell cancer and he's doing just fine now, 4 years later. I think the scariest part is when you are still finding out and deciding the type of treatment. At least that's what it was for me as my son's caregiver. Once he had the surgery and we had an established routine of care, I was glad to be very busy doing what needed to be done. I'll be thinking about you and your Dad and hoping for the very best outcome. Please let us know how you are both doing.