Anita

How I wish my wife and I were still invited to Christmas parties. Even though I cannot eat or drink, I have attended school reunions and anniversary parties where the food and drink were indeed the center of attention. I just whip out my PEG and use a syringe to put some alcohol down the feeding tube (all my doctors agree as long as I bypass my mouth and throat - no harm)
While I can respect and understand your husband's reluctance, it's too bad he doesn't post here so I could tell him directly to reconsider. It can do a world of good to reconnect with friends. Plus it would give you a break from caregiving's focus on cancer. Perhaps you can make an appearance - socialize and then leave early. Everyone would understand.
As I started off - our problem is that our so called friends treat us like I am dying and shun us. (I know, they weren't really our friends after all). So maybe share this thread with him: life is too short to pass up an opportunity to celebrate with friends who still miss him and you and are eager to see you. The world is not going to adjust to us, we need to adjust to the world.
Just my opinion but then I don't mind watching others eat & drink nor do I mind being a stand out in a crowd. (I wore a 13th century Tang Dynasty Chinese warrior silk recreation of the outfit of the Wind character in Flying Daggers to my very staid agency for my retirement party for a ceremony with our office's top Presidential appointee)
Charm