Hi ...I am a 37 year old that found out on June 12th that I had tongue Cancer. I feel like my life has been a whirlwind ever since! I never thought that I could get the "C" word....I really haven't had time to wrap my head around anything! On July 2 I found myself in the hospital preparing for a glossectomy (which thankfully only consisted of them removing a portion of the tongue) and a modified radical neck dissection on the left side. All of the words...I find it hard to believe they are in my vocabulary!

You talk about scared...I have never felt so afraid and alone in my entire life....even though in the waiting room sat my most faithful and wonderful boyfriend, my mom, dad, step mom and my very best friend from high school! Still as I sit typing I find it hard to believe! I even have to stop and just cry....huh cry...I just don't think I have done enough of this! While on the phone the other day with a teacher friend of mine I actually said ..."can you believe I had cancer this summer"...can I said had or do I need to say have...don't know!

Needless to say...I survived the dissection (who came up with the name for this procedure anyway...I hadn't used the word dissection since high school and I seem to remember there was a frog involved in that!!!) and the glossectomy! They removed 39 lymph nodes and I am ever so thankful to report that none of them had any signs of cancer! AND my tongue showed clear margins of the portion they removed. So what do I do now, do I freak out every time I see something strange on my tongue....YES!

Just today I made an emergency appoinment with my doctor because I just knew it had returned! He just rubbed my arm and told me it was simply the stitches dissolving and that I was recovering beautifully. But, I know, But, it feels, But, its nothing?

My question is this....does that feeling ever go away, that at any second the other ball will drop and I will be back in that same god awful scarey world? Does it ever get any easier....I feel like I haven't taken a deep breath in months....will I ever be able to relax and feel normal again?

I know it has been a short time but I am just feeling so lost...I feel like this is not real....

Thanks for reading and any insight you can provide me with will be greatly appreciated!
Kerri M
Tongue Cancer Stage 2 (hopefully gone and never to return)